Sports

NFL fines star quarterback $10,000 for wearing the wrong brand of headphones

by Tyler Munro

Maybe you’ve heard that the NFL has been having some problems of late. Domestic abuse, child abuse, drug abuse, brain abuse…

And maybe you’re wondering when they’ll get their priorities straight. Er… it’ll be a while yet.

Earlier this week, San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick told reporters than he’d been fined $10,000 for wearing the wrong brand of headphones.

Earlier this year, Bose signed a deal to become the official brand of the NFL, beating out Motorola’s reported $50 million bid. According to SportingNews, the deal extends beyond the sidelines to the players, who are actually straight-up forbidden from being seen wearing any brand but Bose at practice, within 90 minutes before and after games, and in press conferences.

Problem is, athletes don’t fuck with Bose. And $10,000? We wouldn’t put it past Dr. Dre to cover that one.

In 2012, the Olympics wouldn’t sign a deal with Beats, so the popular, terrible sounding brand of headphones did them one better, gifting a pair to essentially any athlete that wanted one. It was a brilliant advertising move that only strove to improve their already impenetrable stronghold on athlete-peddled ear-wear.

As for why Kaepernick decided to don his pink Beats headphones at a press conference in spite of a likely impending fine, the 49ers star says he did it as an homage to Breast Cancer Awareness, which is perfectly in-line with the NFL’s perspicacity to exploit and monetize the illness with its line of shitty pink socks and crop-top jerseys.

This is already the second fine the agile quarterback’s seen this short season. Last month Kaepernick, whose eyes are too close together, was fined more than $11,000 for dropping an n-bomb at the referees during a primetime game against the Chicago Bears.