While on the Legends Of Summer Tour with Justin Timberlake, Jay-Z will add a full-time, on call cigar roller to his entourage. That’s pretty luxurious, even for Hov. Apparently Jay met a cigar expert at a friend’s party, and he hired him to roll cigars for guests in a “gentlemen’s club” style environment backstage on every date of the tour.

Let’s take this opportunity to recall a few of the strangest, and most outrageous tour rider requests of all time. Being rich and famous seems really hard, but we’re sure it’s these little details that help make it bearable.

Slayer (100 snow white goats for slaughter)

Slayer’s Fun Fun Fun Fest rider from 2011 has its tongue firmly planted in cheek (see: “From the desk of Slayer” letterhead), but that doesn’t make it any less hilarious. If the festival had actually delivered on all of these items, it probably would have been a pretty gross scene in Slayer’s dressing room. Mostly due to the Gogurt.

The Stooges (“Seven dwarves, dressed up as those dwarves out of that marvelous Walt Disney film”)

To clarify, “taller people are acceptable, of course. It’s attitude, more than altitude that’s important here.” Also, “don’t forget the pointy hats!”

Adele (Charitable donation)

Any individual added to the guest list for Adele’s concerts are required to make a $20 charitable donation. The only thing bizarre about this stipulation is that it’s a celebrity tour rider item that’s selfless instead of selfish.

DMX (Three boxes of condoms and one gallon of Hennessey)

Hats off to DMX if he can drink a gallon of Hennessey and maintain not one, but thirty erections.

Bow Wow (No rotary phones)

You’re right, Bow Wow. Life is too short for rotary phones.

M.I.A. (“Three women between the ages of 20 and 25 to dance on stage wearing full-body burqas”)

For some reason, this seems way less fun than being invited on stage to dance in a furry costume at a Flaming Lips show.

Red Hot Chili Peppers (A dedicated meditation room, carpeted from floor to ceiling)

Their rider stipulates that the colour of the room could be any colour, but “preferably not blue.” Have you ever tried to align your Chakra in a blue, carpeted room? So not zen, bro.

Gorgoroth (200 meters of barbwire and one carpenter)

Having a carpenter on hand was a staging request, so he/she could assist in building crosses, racks for the barbed wire, and barricades for Gorgoroth’s elaborate satanic stage setup. Did I mention that they also requested 50 decapitated sheepheads to be placed on stakes around the stage? Yeah.

The Bloodhound Gang (Rhesus monkey)

Jimmy Pop and the boys admit that this one is the only joke on their rider, then follow it closely with a “fridge magnet of local interest” request. It’s probably easier to find a rhesus monkey than it is to find a fridge magnet of local interest when you’re headlining a Chili’s in Duluth, Minnesota.

Van Halen (All brown M&Ms removed from candy dishes)

This is probably the most legendary fickle tour rider request, so much so that it was parodied on Wayne’s World, but the reasoning behind this appeal goes deeper than mere busywork inspired by entitled grandeur. Van Halen included this item as a sort of “quality control test,” to see if the promoter and venue were carefully adhering to the band’s specifications. If there were brown M&Ms in their dressing room, Van Halen wouldn’t go on stage because they felt it indicated a lack of attention to detail in terms of overall preparedness for the concert. Bunchapricks.