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15 weird Yahoo! Answers about musicians

by Aaron Zorgel

November 20, 2012

Have you ever had a burning question that feels like an itch you can’t quite scratch? Has hours of feverish Googling yielded nothing, and made you so desperate that you actually tried to use Bing?

Yahoo! Answers is a user-supported virtual think tank where you can lend your own expertise to subjects, and bounce some queries off of hundreds of thousands of idiots with nothing better to do. For every sincere question, there are about a dozen ridiculous misfired jokes on the same subject. For every intelligent question that might have relevance to other human beings, there are twice as many that merely expose the ignorance of the asker.

Though you might not find Yahoo! Answers entirely useful when you’re actually seeking answers to valid questions, if you spend a few minutes browsing their bountiful archive of human stupidity, you’re guaranteed to enjoy (at least) laugh and a half.

Here are the fifteen funniest and weirdest questions we found about musicians on Yahoo! Answers.

If a sixteen-year-old has this Yahoo! user as a parent, having poopy pants is only the tip of his issue iceberg.

They were Butt-Butt© brand implants, though. Just one product in a huge line of Butt-Butt© brand Butt Enhancers™.

The “Asker’s Rating” is on point.

That’s racist.

But Seth Green totally looks like a goblin too.

Before finding this question, I searched Yahoo! Answers for “Drake, caterpillars,” but I guess that was a little too specific.

How does one turn into an alien? There’s another one for the think tank at Yahoo! Answers to tackle.

“Eject feices”

TOO SOON.

If Billy Corgan really has great calves, why would he hide them under all of those weird industrial skirts he was into for a while?

“Okay, I totally get that he learned the synthesizer, piano, keyboards, harmonica, clavinet, drums, congas, bongos, melodica, keytar, accordion, and harpejji…but the guitar? I call bullshit.”

That’s racist.

So it’s not by the Black Eyed Peas, it’s not one specific song by Chris Brown, and it might have Rihanna singing? My guess is “Live Your Life” by T.I. featuring Rihanna. Man, I’ve gotta get a Yahoo! Answers account. This question has probably been driving Joe crazy for the last two years.

If I was a horse, I would totally love trotting to “Are You Gonna Go My Way?” by Lenny Kravitz. There’s no life activity that isn’t made more awesome when underscored by that hot, hot riff.