Music Biopic Fantasy Casting

by Dave Hodgson

April 2, 2012

0

0

0

0

0

Email this article to a friend

It was recently revealed that Michael K. Williams, who you may remember as The Wire’s Omar, is set to star in a biopic of Wu-Tang Clan mainstay Ol’ Dirty Bastard as Big Baby Jesus himself, which just seems to make a tremendous amount of sense. This got Pop Hunter thinking: which other celebrities could effortlessly step into the shoes of major music stars on the big screen?

Zooey Deschanel as Katy Perry

The adorkable Deschanel has become one of the most sought-after talents in Hollywood as surely as adorkable is not a word. So if Hollywood decided to tell the Katy Perry story, you bet she’d be considered. But would Zooey trade her indie cred for a bra that ejaculates whipped cream? Her role as spokespixie for Rimmel cosmetics would seem to indicate that if the price is right, then yeah, sure.

Halle Berry as Whitney Houston

The Oscar winner’s career should use a shot in the rump these days, and nothing would do it quite like playing the tragic songstress. That’s just straight-up Academy bait. Can you imagine if she played Whitney Houston and her “special”, inspiring twin? They’d have to create a Super Oscar just for it.

Owen Wilson as David Guetta

They certainly bear a striking resemblance to one another, but David Guetta doesn’t really sound like the role of a lifetime. You Me and Dupree drove Owen to suicide and we don’t need him going there again!

Wiz Khalifa as Jimi Hendrix

Discount for a second that Wiz – who, let the record show, nobody beats – has zero acting experience. Not only do they both love the ganj, but if you were as high as Jimi usually was, you’d probably never be able to tell them apart. And admit it, you’d go to this movie just to see Wiz Khalifa fumbling around with a guitar.

Jim Rash as Kenny G

Okay, so no one is clamouring for a Kenny G biopic, aside from your unfortunate Aunt Carlene. Clearly, the Kenny G movie would have to be a comedy, otherwise it’d be way too damn sad. Enter Jim Rash, who you may better know as Community’s Dean Pelton. Throw a wig – or in a pinch some cantonese noodles – on that bald head and you’ve got yourself a dead ringer and a direct-to-VOD masterpiece.

Andy Serkis as Michael Jackson

It’s probably impossible for one uniracial actor to play Michael Jackson without it being ridiculous at best and racist at worst. That’s why we need Andy Serkis and his shapeshifting jumpsuit. Thanks to the wonders of CGI, he can play every era of MJ, plus him as a kid and Bubbles the Chimp. Now that’s moviemaking! Maybe you think I’m nuts, but the alternative is Chris Brown, and I’ll go ahead and assume that nobody wants that.

Tags: Music, Featured, News, Andy Serkis, Dave Hodgson, david guetta, Halle Berry, Jim Rash, Jimi Hendrix, Katy Perry, Kenny G, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Wiz Khalifa, Zooey Deschanel

0

0

0

0

0

Email this article to a friend