Music

The Parody OD: "Call Me Maybe"

by Dave Hodgson

Welcome back to The Parody OD, a monthly roundup of YouTube’s burgeoning pop parodists! This time around, we see what the “Weird” Als of the digital generation have on Carly Rae Jepsen’s monster single “Call Me Maybe.” We’re not saying she’s going to be a one hit wonder, but this is probably her last video that gets 165 million views.

“Call Me Maybe” (DIRTY PARODY)

Views: 18,383,206

There’s a nugget of a funny parody in this video, which indeed proves to be a dirty parody; unrequited lust is definitely far creepier when it’s a man longing after a woman. But that is buried under a vast array of semen and dick jokes. Par exemple: “My penis curves right for you, baby / So now it’s your turn, show me your labi / A… huh huh…” Despite my objections, this video has 93,000 likes. Yowza! I have a sneaking suspicion about something, let’s just see…

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Look, I’m all for puerile humor. I was raised on a steady diet of puerile humor and food. But it has to be used with tact. Tact is nowhere to be found here. Maybe tact went up to the cottage for some “tact time.”

Definitive Lyric: “You’re applying lotion / Bouncing in slow-motion / I jizz like a ocean / Where you think you’re going, bitch!”

Rating: 4/10

“CRJ Fanvideo”

Views: 16,377,220

So that was creepy done wrong, and this is creepy done right. Are you familiar with the work of Overly Attached Girlfriend? A female YouTuber submitted her clingy, disconcerting version of Justin Bieber’s “Girlfriend” to a cover competition and quickly took the net by storm, being dubbed Overly Attached Girlfriend by Reddit, and she’s ridden the wave of popularity to Internet stardom. Now she’s back with her take on “Call Me Maybe,” and it’s skin-crawlingly good. You don’t need amazing production values to make a funny parody. You just need to, y’know… not use the phrase “jizz like an ocean.”

Definitive Lyric: “Remember you’re mine, you say you’re dating / I know you’re kidding, so I’ll be waiting”

Rating: 8/10

“Share It Maybe”

Views: 7,081,977

As a childhood disciple of Sesame Street, and to a much lesser extent Sesame Park, it’s always a pleasure when the characters creep back into the spotlight to interact with popular culture. But this Cookie Monster-themed spoof, regrettably, isn’t very funny. It’s a laugh and a half for kids, I’m sure, but they’ve been brought up to think that crap like “Madagascar” is funny, so for anyone with pubic hair, this gets pretty tedious pretty quickly. It doesn’t help that I’ve been off the Cookie Monster train since they had him say that cookies are only a sometimes food. He’s 43, let the man eat what he wants! Also, why does the video take place in some office? Is Cookie Monster temping?

Definitive Lyric: “Me look at you and me tell / You may have snickerdoodle”

Rating: 5/10

“Corgie Rae Jepsen – Call Me Maybe”

Views: 1,493,261

Just… don’t click the video. Trust me. It’s a corgi barking “Call Me Maybe” over what sounds like a MIDI version of the song. Maybe it sounds cute to you. And it is cute, for the first five seconds. But then the stupidity of it turns your brain into mush, the dog noises take over, you’re watching the next song on the playlist woofed by “Dogtye”, you’re woofing along, minutes turn to hours, hours to days, you don’t go to work because YouTube’s blocked and you can’t watch your dogs without your YouTube, and after a number of weeks, the police finally break down your door and peel you off your chair as Pup Direction’s “One Bark” blasts on loop. So, yeah. Don’t click the video.

Definitive Lyric: “Woof woof woof”

Rating: 0/10

“Barack Obama – Call Me Maybe”

Views: 20,472,047

Is this a parody? Not even a little bit. But hell if I could resist putting it here. The YouTube channel “BaracksDubs” specializes in cutting up tens of hours of Obama speeches into him singing the lyrics to pop songs. This one punch-buggies me right on the funny bone, especially the clips that have to be sped up or slowed down to work, and the particularly thug way Barack says “crazy” at 0:54. It’s not a parody but in the five months I’ve been doing this, it’s the best thing I’ve seen. I’ve truly wasted my time. Scratch that – my time and yours!

Definitive Lyric: “Hey! – I just – met ya. / And – this is – crazy!”

Rating: 10/10

BONUS OLYMPIC UPDATE: “Call Me Lochte”

Views: 28,533

Just in time for the Summer Olympics, it’s “Call Me Lochte,” which highlights the apple pie-reeking, all-American rivalry between swimmers Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte. Topical? Check. In tune? Check. Rhymes “Mark Spitz” with “bong hits”? I checked right through the sheet. Though, after Lochte swam anchor and let France overtake him in the 4×100 butterfly, he doesn’t even deserve a parody, am I right? Note: I don’t even know if I’m right.

Rating: 7/10

Next time: A completely corgi-free edition of the Parody OD!