Music

Justin Bieber's new single "Boyfriend" has arrived, complete with rapping, whale sounds

by Aaron Zorgel

Last night at midnight, Justin Bieber’s new single “Boyfriend” was released via iTunes, creating a tsunami of tweets, likes, shares, and trending topics courtesy of an army of Beliebers, who are coincidentally the world’s 6th largest military force, tied with the Turkish National Army. If you wanted to make Joseph Kony famous for amassing an army of children, we should probably do the same for JB. It’s only fair.

Luckily, the internet was able to withstand the surplus of traffic last night, and it still exists for us to critically assess the new Justin Bieber single.

Musically, the song features an obtrusive high pitched whale noise on the 2nd beat of every single bar. I have a feeling that that whale noise will inspire an SNL sketch akin to the classic “More Cowbell” skit with Christopher Walken. In 15 years, Future Bros will be walking around with printed tees that say “I gotta have more more Whale Noise!”

Percussive claps, 808 drum programming, and an acoustic guitar round out the rather sparse instrumental, produced by Mike Posner. Justin posted the lyrics last week, so we already know how terrible those are. Maybe the biggest change on this single is that Justin is rapping his verses now. Do you guys think “Swaggie” is going to catch on?

Honestly, Justin could have released a song comprised entirely of fart noises, and it would still go to #1 on iTunes. Is this song representative of what all the songs on Believe are going to sound like? If so, playful rapping aside, I’m kind of underwhelmed. I expected a “Baby”-level song of earth shattering catchiness. If not that, I was expecting to see a bit of musical maturation. Unfortunately, the lyrics and goofy rapping kind of kill that for me. Maybe this one is a grow-er, and not a show-er.