Music

10 Strange Excuses for Cancelled Concerts

by Anne T. Donahue

The internet exploded over news that Kings of Leon cancelled their US tour dates thanks to a combination of being supremely tuckered out and Caleb Followill suffering from “vocal issues.” So in tribute to the fam-jam in desperate need of a power nap, we’ve rounded up 10 other cancelled concert excuses that we can collectively roll our eyes at.

10. Bird poops in Kings of Leon bassist’s mouth

What better place to start: the Followill clan also tapped out of a 2010 St. Louis date after Jared was treated to a foul version of “many pigeons, one mouth.”

9. Women give public breakups new meaning

Taking a page out of the book of ’90s Jerry Springer, Calgary’s Women spontaneously combusted onstage in Victoria, throwing punches, name-calling, and walking off in a huff, leading to an “official” tour cancellation that cited “exhaustion” as the cause. That, or da-rama.

8. Ben Weasel punches two women mid-set, entire band quits

Few things dampen the mood like a frontman lunging into the crowd to attack two female audience members. So after Ben Weasel retaliated in response to an alleged beer-throwing, spit-tossing attendee at this year’s SXSW, the rest of Screeching Weasel quit, ending the tour entirely. What DFA riot?

7. New Pornographers‘ name costs them a gig

Despite obviously knowing the name of the band they were booking at the time, officials at a Michigan “Christian liberal arts school” put the kibosh on a planned New Pornographers’ show claiming it’d be “impossible” to explain the band’s name when asked.

6. Morrissey acts like a baby

While the official story claimed that Morrissey had “blown out his voice” after a 2009 Las Vegas date, word on the street is that the former Smiths frontman was offended by audience members fighting and vomiting in the venue, and cancelled a gig in California in retaliation. Earlier last month, he also cancelled a gig in Sweden due to rain. Whether or not he carries his own tiny violins remains a mystery.

5. Rihanna literally sets the roof on fire

Thanks to pyrotechnics gone horribly awry, Rihanna’s stop in Dallas this July led to a fire in the lighting rig above the stage, prompting her to cut the set early and tweet her disappointment. Thankfully, officials realized that they did, in fact, need water, and chose not to let the motherfucker burn.

4. Stampede puts an end to the free Drake/Hanson concert

Inspired by wildebeest, a crowd of 25,000 turned up for a free Drake and Hanson concert in New York last June and incited a stampede upon finding out the show was cancelled after officials deemed the situation unsafe. After all, they can take their lives, but they’ll never take their “Mmbop.”

3. Good Charlotte nearly terrorized

A one-off show for Jack Daniel’s in Bali got the red light this April after Australia issued a terrorism threat and lead to the old “safety first” routine. At least they made it the best they could.

2. T-Pain receives kidnapping and death threats

A 2009 show in Guyana was quickly cancelled after T-Pain received “credible” kidnapping and death threats by phone and by email. No word on whether the assistance of Kevin Costner was ever enlisted.

1. Justin Bieber fans RIOT

An appearance on the set of Australia’s Sunrise morning show led to the hysterics of countless impatient Bieber fans who effectively shut down the gig by shoving, pushing and trampling each other. Ending his set 2/3 of the way through, Biebs later tweeted that he “just [wanted] to sing” and that he “love[s] his fans”. (Just not as much as they arguably love him.)