Music

Here's proof that all new country is exactly the same

by Tyler Munro

Everything but country and rap, except for Johnny Cash.

We’ve all heard your bitching and moaning about new country. About how Luke Bryan is like Nelly in Wranglers. About how every song is about pick-up trucks, light beers and country girls. The argument is tired, because we get it: As a rule, modern country is formulaic, lazy garbage. But it’s worth reiterating that the argument is played out because it’s true, and a new mash-up making the rounds proves as much with indisputable accuracy.

Originally posted in November of last year, Sir Mashalot’s mix combines songs by Blake Shelton, Luke Bryan, Cole Swindell, Parmalee, Florida Georgia Line and Chase Rise, and the evidence is pretty damning.

Listen as they sing about the month of July’s flowing wind through the boom-booming speakers of the flatbed trucks. Toss your shades on, take it off on the water and lean a little bit closer.

And before you say it: We know, there are exceptions that prove the rule.

This is, by and large, country’s lowest common denominator, and for every Blake Shelton there’s a Miranda Lambert. Put Pistol Annies next to, say, Carrie Underwood, and you’ll see that the traditions are alive as ever, just maybe a little harder to wade towards.

With artists like Sturgill Simpson, Kacey Musgraves, Eric Church, Whitey Morgan and more, the genre’s in good hands. Rap is still crap, though.