Music

Insane Clown Posse think creepy clown sightings are a hoax

by Jeremy Mersereau

Just in case you’ve been living under a giant oversized shoe or something, there’s been a rash of creepy clown sightings sweeping through North America, with many people across the US and Canada reporting encounters with sinister suburban jesters. While the veracity of the clown claims are in doubt, it’s a good enough story that most people likely don’t care that there’s probably not really a wave of green-haired demon clowns coming to claim their souls (more likely it’s a rave of green-haired demon teens coming to claim their Sols).

For some reason, it’s taken until now to ask America’s most famous representatives from the (rhyme) murdering clown community about their take on the situation, but Time magazine finally did what we all wanted and got Insane Clown Posse on record about the clowny conundrum:

Violent J (the bleach blonde one who looks like he eats and breathes WWE) writes about his and Shaggy 2 Dope’s (the red-haired one who looks like he eats and breathes WWE) childhood experiences with a similar crop of sightings when they were growing up, noting that no arrests were even made during a 1981 wave of phantom clown encounters. So, ICP: firmly in the “it’s a hoax” camp.

J’s article also features this truly terrifying segue into talking about the real clowns we should be afraid of:

But as ICP has discovered over the last decade, there’s a whole army of scary, terrifying and dangerous clowns out there in this country trying to suppress the rights of thousands of people to exercise the most basic part of the Declaration of Independence, which evokes the freedom to “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”.

J uses his Time platform to call out “keystone-cop clowns”, “racist clowns,” and “clowns in the NSA” for acting against the interests of the American citizenry. J’s got a reason to be especially fired up about the erosion of American personal freedoms: in 2011, the FBI named Juggalos as a gang in its National Gang Threat Assessment, and ever since, J says, their fans have been unfairly “targeted, profiled and blatantly discriminated on by law enforcement agencies across America”.

Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope will be leading a Juggalo march next September to protest their fanbase’s unwarranted gang status. Please, please let them get the clown truck and little girl Juggalo from the “Let’s Go All The Way” video to march out front.