Music

Mötley Crüe are launching a line of official sex toys

by Jeremy Mersereau

80’s hair-metal badboys and primary driver of “how the fuck do I type an umlaut” Google searches, Mötley Crüe, might not be able to legally reunite ever again, but that doesn’t mean the world is safe from their lecherous schemes.

This time, Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, and…uh…the rest are launching an official line of Crüe-branded sex toys, in a partnership with manufacturer Lovehoney. Scheduled to be released in September, the line features eight different vibrators, all emblazoned with artwork from classic Crüe albums like Girls, Girls, Girls and Shout At The Devil. Ah, truly the gift for all occasions, perfect for everything from the debutante ball to your favourite linguistics professor finally getting tenure.

Lovehoney’s Sabrina Earnshaw guarantees that the vibrators will deliver “the power and pleasure you’d expect from ‘The World’s Most Notorious Rock Band’.” Prices and official release date haven’t yet been announced, but you should be able to get your hands/orifices on the Classic Skull Bullet Vibrator and the Too Fast For Love 10 Function model soon.

Incidentally, Lovehoney aren’t new to the music-branded vibrator game – last year, they launched a line of Motörhead vibrators that promise “the loudest buzz in the world”. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that the last thing you want in a vibrator? And can these guys make branded toys that don’t involve umlauts for next time, please?

[H/T FACT]