Music

Man blames his dating failures on his 29 Miley Cyrus tattoos

by Jeremy Mersereau

OK, deep breath, we can get through this: A lovelorn English Miley Cyrus megafan is getting his 29 tattoos of Woody Allen’s latest muse covered up, citing them as the reason he can’t get a girlfriend. The weirdest part about all of this? He’s 43.

Carl McCoid got his first Cyrus tattoo in 2010, and went on to spend $5,000 CAD to cover his entire body in portraits and lyrics from his favourite pop starlet over the next 6 years. I like to think if I had that kind of cash to drop on tats, I’d go for something cooler than a cultural nadir, but that’s just me. I’d probably take a page from this dude.

Anyway, insult was added to wallet and skin injury last year, when Cyrus herself commented on McCoid’s tattoos, calling them “creepy” and “ugly”, but McCoid says that has no bearing on why he’s now covering them up. His reasoning for wanting them gone? They become the only thing women want to discuss on dates.

The results of his laser tattoo removal treatment so far.

McCoid told the Hull Daily Mail that “the conversation just seems to be centred around them and it just gets boring. I feel like I can’t move on.” You don’t say. If I was on a date with someone literally covered in red flags, I’d wanna discuss it too.

McCoid also says Cyrus has fallen out of favour with him recently for her racy behaviour. “She’s doing silly things and I don’t want to be associated with the things that she does. She used to be the girl next door but she’s losing a lot of fans.” I’m sure Cyrus is going to be devastated when she hears what this 43-year-old tatted-up father of three thinks of her behaviour.

McCoid is now getting his Cyrus tattoos lasered off and covered up, and says he’s happy to finally be free of his obsession. “I’m not bothered how much pain I have to go through. I feel set free and it feels great to be getting rid of them.” At least, I hope he was talking about the tats, and not his children.

[H/T Hull Daily Mail]