Music

Justin Bieber fails at beer bong, allegedly assaults man for filming him

by Jeremy Mersereau

Oh Bieber, how do we dislike thee, let us count the ways: for getting scraggly dreadlocks, for making your fans pay 2 grand to meet a cardboard cutout, for riding a Batmobile and angering PETA at your bad dad’s engagement party. And now, a new addition to the list: for getting angry you couldn’t properly chug some beer and allegedly assaulting a man and smashing his iPhone.

According to a lawsuit recently filed in the Houston area, the Biebs was angered when a man took a Snapchat of his failure to go the distance on a beer bong at a Houston nightclub back in April. Allegedly, Bieber was so angered and embarrassed by his amateur level of chugology that he smashed the man’s iPhone and had his security throw him out of the VIP area.

Giving credence to the idea that we live in the most absurd of all possible worlds, the lawsuit reads that “unfortunately, for Bieber he was clearly a novice because as he attempted to chug his beverage through the beer-bong,” “he miscalculated the amount of beer he could intake and beer spilled all over himself, his clothes, and on his face.” The plaintiff, one Robert Earl Morgan, is seeking $75,000 USD, and notes that he lost photos of his grandmother’s 100th birthday party when Bieber smashed his phone in an ashamed, beer foam-coated fury.

The Daily Mail has obtained footage of the foamy mishap:

Also, the lawsuit notes that Bieber “put out a cigarette or blunt” on cornrow czar Post Malone’s arm at some point during the night. Fortunately, everyone hurt by Bieber has the perfect remedy: just fire up YouTube, and click on the music video that exists expressly for this occasion: “Girlfriend”, he looks like a real ding-dong in that one.

[h/t ABC 13]