Music

Morrissey might be running for mayor of London

by Jeremy Mersereau

Having recently earned a reprieve from punk rock’s T-1000, Smiths singer and professional dour man Morrissey isn’t wasting his new lease on life: he’s reportedly considering running as a candidate in London’s upcoming mayoral election with the Animal Welfare Party.

According to fansite True To You, the singer has been invited to run for mayor by a party which stands slightly more chance of winning an election in the UK than, say, a can of ham. To become the party’s official candidate, Morrissey would require 330 signatures of support to officially run in the election, which is to be held May 5. Oof, 330 people endorsing Morrissey as a serious political candidate? Good luck.

In case the 1985 Smiths album Meat is Murder didn’t tip you off, Morrissey’s intense, unflinchingly humourless stance on animal rights has been a key component of the singer’s weltanschauung for some time now. It’s not just anyone who could get away with equating eating meat with pedophilia, after all. Nothing makes people change their minds like being told they’re as bad as pedophiles, I always say.

True to form, a lengthy statement issued by Morrissey about the state of animal rights has all the over-the-top solemnity and quotability we’ve come to expect from the Moz, including this zinger towards celebrity chef Jamie Oliver:

Boooosh! Get ‘im, Mo! Read the full statement here, if you haven’t yet hit your purple prose quota for the day. Morrissey hasn’t officially announced he’s seeking candidacy, but with gumption like his, there’s basically no way he could lose! Oh right, except in all those ways.

[h/t Exclaim]