Music

Henry Rollins wants the U.S. to invade Canada

by Richard Howard

After fronting legendary hardcore band Black Flag and the inexplicably even more terrifying Rollins Band, Henry Rollins has gone on to become a recognized spoken word artist, activist, comedian and writer. Renowned for not giving a shit and delighting in pissing people off, his latest missive differs in one important way – it’s all about us Canucks. In the last installment of his LA Weekly column, Rollins made an impassioned plea to his countrymen – “Let’s invade Canada!”

Anyone with a cursory knowledge of the man knows that Rollins loves Canada, so we won’t even attempt to mislead you into thinking he’s disparaging us in any way. Instead, in a satirical piece that would make Stephen Colbert proud, Rollins apes a right-winger affronted by our progressive nature as well as our “decency and socialist kool-aid.” Seems that Rollins has caught Trudeau fever as well: after claiming to see “several people doing cartwheels” on his last visit here after the PM’s election victory, he warns: “Under Imam Trudeau, Canada’s progressive policies will become a virus that will empower women, gays and other fringe-element actors to become part of the new mainstream.”

So guys, brace yourselves and gather up them muskets…because Rollins’ ‘Operation Maple Dawn Cobra Thunder’ (what a great name) is in motion.