Riot Fest's list of banned people and items is amazing

by AUX staff

September 11, 2015

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No Justin Bieber, selfie sticks, or crying allowed in Chicago.

Are you headed to the Chicago edition of Riot Fest? Lucky you! Just remember to leave prohibited items at home. That means you’ll have to find a safe place for your outside food, air horns and Justin Biebers if you want to get your Riot Fest on.

That’s right, the Bieb has been banned by the decade old punk shindig. If you would be so kind as to inspect the Riot Fest “Allowed/Not Allowed” listing on their FAQ page, you’ll see that not only is Bieber banned, but so are former WWE champ CM Punk, brunch favourite cantaloupe and the act of crying. (One celebrity’s listed by name on the “Allowed” side of things and that’s John Stamos.) By the way, this isn’t the first time that the “What Do You Mean?” singer’s been “banned” by the fest. He’s been targeted before.

In addition to the COMEDY™ banned items, Riot Fest Chicago has also taken the sensible step of outlawing white dipshits wearing First Nations headdresses. That’s always the right call.

The Toronto edition of the festival has a similar “Not Allowed” policy to its Illinois counterpart, although it features no mention of Bieber, wrestlers or beloved melons. If Motörhead pulls out next weekend, there’s nothing saying that Bieber vs. Punk in a cantaloupe death match can’t take its place.

[h/t With Spandex]

Tags: Music, News, WTF, Justin Bieber, riot fest

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