Music
Chris Martin's separation from Gwyneth Paltrow won't make Coldplay songs sadder
by Tyler Munro
March 26, 2014
via US Magazine
Because we’re all awful, the world couldn’t wait to crack a couple of jokes after word of Coldplay singer Chris Martin’s impending divorce from actress Gwyneth Paltrow, his wife of nearly 11 years.
The comedy was neither clever nor funny; riffs on Coldplay’s already somber songwriting with the same punchlines repeated. If Coldplay is music to be sad too, what’s Gwyneth supposed to listen to? Har-har, their lives are ruined! Hilarious.
Chief among these jokes was the tie-in. If Coldplay has a new album coming out, wouldn’t this impact their already sad songs? To be blunt? No. That’s not how albums work. If Ghost Stories is out in May, and if we first heard “Magic” earlier this month, then everything has long been set in stone. The divorce may contextualize the music, but it’s not going to impact it, at least not artistically. It’s not fair to say this is a stunt, but there’s no doubt it’ll boost album sales.
Hell, it helped Gwyneth’s website, Goop, where she first announced the split, leading TMZ to call it the “Bougiest Separation Ever.” Divorce isn’t the official word, at least not yet, but Paltrow says they’re setting off to “uncouple and co-parent,” referring to their children Apple and Moses. We wish them both the best, as long as it means there’s no Paltrow solo CD on the way.
