Music

The Beyoncé and Obama affair is the best rumour on the internet

by Mark Teo

February 10, 2014

This morning, one of the most fascinating stories circulating feels like something that came from the depths of deep-web fanfic: Is Barack Obama, the leader of the free world, having an affair with Beyoncé, one of pop culture’s most powerful women and wife of Jay-Z?

That’s what new rumours suggest. And, of course, these rumours should ignite plenty of Illuminati theorists. Today, Glamour Paris reports that French paparazzi photographer Pascal Rostain says the affair would appear in the American mainstream press. Here’s our translation, because Google Translate ain’t cutting it. (Big ups to French immersion!)

“You know, at this moment in the United States, something enormous is about to happen,” Rostain said. “Tomorrow, the news will come out in the Washington Post, we can’t say that it’s going to be in the trashy tabloid press, that there’s a supposed affair between President Barack Obama and Beyoncé.”

Then, later, the story notes that the Matin tabloid has already weighed in. “For the first time,” the paper writes, “We have stills and televised [footage] of the Obama couple becoming a bit distant. After that, there’s the rumour of the affair with Beyoncé. We shouldn’t dispel its credibility just because it’s a rumour. We shouldn’t forget Marilyn [Monroe] or Monica Lewinsky. Maybe he’s the president of the most powerful country globally, but he’s still a man.”

But we should still remember that Matin and Rostain are members of France’s paparazzo—meaning they trade in sensationalism. Poynter, a not-for-profit resource for educating journalists, sent an email to the Post, who denied they’re running a story about the alleged affair.

“[It’s] definitely not true,” said Post spokesperson Kris Coratti.

Of course, the Twittersphere didn’t care. Here’s some of the best reactions we’ve assembled.

Imagine a world in which Beyoncé has time to have an affair with NOTED POOR DRESSER Barack Obama http://t.co/q1oPVHRze2 #SMDH

— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) February 10, 2014

The world is going to end if Beyonce and Obama are having an affair, as this French paparazzo claims. We will all wank ourselves to death.

— Sophie Heawood (@heawood) February 10, 2014

Jay-Z may have 99 problems but the Washington Post is confirming that President Obama is not one of them. http://t.co/tXqAc1CdUh

— David Wyllie (@journodave) February 10, 2014

On the occasion of Hollande’s visit to the US, French press has invented rumor that an Obama-Beyonce affair will be in tomorrow’s headlines.

— Hannah Armstrong (@HannahHaniya) February 10, 2014