Music

Adults read suicidal Belieber tweets

by Tyler Munro

Yesterday, Justin Bieber gave his young fans a heart attack when he joked—yeah, it was a joke—on the radio about an early retirement. Because Belieber’s have a blinded, undying love for the guy, they took it as gospel, and the reactions were ridiculous. Immediately, kids were tweeting about a Bieberless world, one where his retirement would prompt them to “literally retire their lives” and “break their bones and die.”

It’s sad, but also very funny, and to highlight both sides we decided to ask some of our de facto office grownups to read the best of the bunch. This is the result.

But seriously kids: please don’t kill yourselves. Suicide is no laughing matter, and if you genuinely need help there are outlets available to you, like Kids Help Phone. Head here for a full list of available crisis centres.