Music

11 fictional bands from the world of Degrassi

by Josiah Hughes

Since forming in 1979 with The Kids of Degrassi Street, the world of Degrassi has drawn obsessive fans from across the world. The show’s also produced some real-life musical talent, from Drake’s post-Jimmy Brooks superstardom to Boys Who Say No, the Toronto indie-pop group who feature former Degrassi bully Jay Hogart (real name Mike Lobel) on synth. Still, if you stopped watching the Degrassi franchise at any point during it’s long run, you likely missed out on some of its many, many bands. Here, a selection of the many musical acts to emerge from Degrassi’s halls.

Zit Remedy

Obviously, no list would be complete without mention of Zit Remedy, the original Degrassi power trio formed by Joey Jeremiah, Snake Simpson, and Derek Wheeler. Later shortened to The Zits, the band only really had one song, but what a song. “Everybody Wants Something,” a straightforward pop number with a straightforward message about capitalism, isn’t just a classic in the Degrassi world (it’s referenced throughout the series), but also a stone-cold Cancon classic in general. No wonder it’s been covered so many times.

Gourmet Scum

Gourmet Scum doesn’t ever actually play on the show, but there’s plenty of talk about them, particularly in the Degrassi Junior High episode “Taking Off.” Their shirts, posters and other merch, along with their fantastic name, suggest they’re a classic sneering punk band, Degrassi’s answer to the Sex Pistols, complete with Never Mind the Bollocks… referencing typography. Their shows are pretty sketchy, too — Shane McKay drops acid at a Gourmet Scum concert, thinks he can fly and jumps off a bridge, causing irreparable brain damage. His character returns on TNG, played by Jonathan Torrens.

Paige Michalchuk and the Sexkittens

Easily the closest thing Degrassi ever saw to a riot grrrl band, Paige Michalchuk and the Sexkittens have a decidedly feminist name (it abbreviates to P.M.S.) and some empowering lyrics (think Rape Revenge via bad teen pop). The group was originally formed between Ashley Kerwin and Terri McGreggor as Two Girls and a Keyboard in an episode called “Cabaret,” but they switched to Paige Michalchuk and the Sexkittens when Paige joined. Trouble brews in Paige’s personal life after she’s date-raped by Dean Walton but refuses to tell anyone about it. Meanwhile, in the episode “Shout (Part 2),” she’s upset that the band is making happy-go-lucky music for “cheesy pop chicks.” She asks Ashley to help with some edgier lyrics, at which point Ashley coincidentally writes a song called “Poor Thing” about being raped. Paige is upset by the lyrics, but ends up singing it in something called the Pantene Pro-Voice songwriting contest. P.M.S. get second place, Dean is driven away by the performance, and it spurs Paige to seek help from a counselor regarding what happened. Sadly, it also marked the end of P.M.S., but you can listen to Paige’s version of “Poor Thing” above.

Downtown Sasquatch

One of the longest running Degrassi bands, Downtown Sasquatch, is the project of TNG mainman Craig Manning, who’s joined by everyone from Spinner Mason and Marco Del Rossi to Jimmy “OVO” Brooks himself. The band struggle along like any high school band, performing school functions and recording hilarious high school band-ish singles. Though they cite Death Cab for Cutie and Neutral Milk Hotel as influences, Downtown Sasquatch play remarkably goofy funk rock. It must be something in the band name that causes you to go full-on dork funk mode, because so do these guys. Downtown Sasquatch eventually disbanded when Manning moved to Vancouver, then Los Angeles, in pursuit of a solo career. Though he mostly just found a nasty cocaine habit.

Hell Hath No Fury

Formed out of the ashes of P.M.S. (they couldn’t reform because one of their members was in a coma because it’s Degrassi), and inspired by Ashley’s heart-wrenching break-up with Craig, Hell Hath No Fury go head-to-head with Downtown Sasquatch in a battle of the bands. Wearing some mean-spirited anti-Craig t-shirts, Ashley belts out the lyrics to “Mr. Nice Guy,” a sassy rock song about how Craig is most certainly not a Mr. Nice Guy.

Kid Elrick

Downtown Sasquatch’s favourite act was Kid Elrick, a very thinly veiled Degrassi version of Kid Rock. When Jimmy grows tired of his time in the hospital, he gets his buds to break him out so they can go check out the Kid Elrick concert in the episode “Secret, Part 2.” The band perform their hit song “I’m The Kid.” We couldn’t find an embeddable clip, but do yourself a favour and find this one — watching Drake wear a floppy toque and rock out to some bad Canadian nu-metal from the comfort of his wheelchair is some must-see material. Plus, the episode has a worthwhile lesson about gonorrhoea.

Stüdz

Danny Van Standt and Sav Bhandari formed their band Stüdz in season nine as a way to spend some time away from their girlfriends. They asked Spinner Mason to join as drummer, but he declined, claiming they were a boy band. They eventually toughened up a little, adopting rabbit masks and writing the song “Shared Custody,” at which point Spinner joined. The band went through a number of changes, and produced more songs with fascinating titles like “Holly J. Sucks,” “Google My Own Name” and “I Just Wanna Party.”

Janie & The Studs featuring Peter Stone

Stüdz went through enough lineup changes, with members leaving and rejoining, that by the time Degrassi Takes Manhattan rolled around, the group was called Janie & The Studs featuring Peter Stone. Pete’s overdose on methamphetamine had him out of the band and back in, but they eventually threw in the towel altogether when Jane Vaughn cheated on Spinner. They had plenty of appearances on the soundtrack to Degrassi Takes Manhattan, which also featured performances from many other cast members. Listen to their ska-leaning pop song “The Great Escape” above.

Jenna Middleton

After transferring to Degrassi in season nine, Middleton takes her classmates by storm with her bouncy folk pop and new country. Jessica Tyler, the actress who plays Middleton on the show, is a performer in real life. Songs like “Mr. Perfect” (above) demonstrate her talents, complete with pop radio-ready lyrics and even a small spoken word part that makes her Degrassi’s answer to Taylor Swift.

The Three Tenners

The Three Tenners, comprised of grade ten students Wesley Betenkamp, Connor Deslauriers, and Dave Turner, only have one song, but man, what a song. “Frag This” is a true pop rap masterpiece for the internet era, complete with internetty lyrics (“You are always online”). The group kept their intentions clear from the start, forming in an effort to get girls. They never actually performed, but the in-studio footage of them recording “Frag This,” complete with funky flutes, autotuned singing, and group “whoa!”s, is really all you’ll ever need from The Three Tenners.

Whisper Hug

Formed by Mo Mashkour in season 12, Whisper Hug almost brings the Degrassi band history into a full circle. There’s the anything-goes instrumentation aspect (in addition to cello, keyboards and guitars, the band also includes Imogen Moreno playing crystal glasses) and the hilarious, elementary lyrics that everyone sings at once — their debut song “Be My Someone” is truly the “Everybody Wants Something” of our time. They got a little more of a synth-pop flare on their later “Superman’s Song” single, but “Be My Someone” is the ultimate Degrassi jam.

Next: 17 covers of the Zit Remedy’s “Everybody Wants Something”