Music

Noel Gallagher adds novels to the list of things he hates

by Tyler Munro

via antiquiet

GQ UK inexplicably chose Noel Gallagher as its Icon of the Year, an award we can’t take to mean much when a long-since-irrelevant loudmouth takes the prize. The interview was as you’d expect, mostly consisting of Gallagher swearing about everything from One Direction (“Fucking idiots”), Coldplay’s tour rider and radio promos, but the real revelation came later, when the former Oasis frontman unleashed on… novels.

“I only read factual books. I can’t think of… I mean, novels are just a waste of fucking time,” he said. What prompted the reaction was a question about his religious wife and the Bible, and what followed was Gallagher’s usual lambasting.

“What fucking winds me up about books is, like… my missus will come in with a book and it will be titled – and there’s a lot of these, you can substitute any word, it’s like a Rubik’s Cube of shit titles – it’ll be entitled The Incontinence Of Elephants. And I’ll say “What’s that book about?” And she’ll say, “Oh it’s about a girl and this load of fucking nutters…” Right… so it’s not about elephants, then? Why the fuck is it called The Incontinence Of Elephants? Another one: The Tales Of The Clumsy Beekeeper. What’s that about? “Oh it’s about the French Revolution.” Right, fuck off. If you’re writing a book about a child who’s locked in a fucking cupboard during the fucking Second World War… he’s never seen an elephant. Never mind a fucking giraffe.”

Right. Read the entire, fuck-filled interview here.