Music

Sign a petition to make R. Kelly's "Ignition (Remix)" the new American national anthem

by Aaron Zorgel

Does anyone else feel like the “Star Spangled Banner” is sounding a little stale in 2013? At least 1,124 (at time of publishing, anyway) people seem to think so.

There’s a user-created petition on the White House’s official website to make R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix)” the new American national anthem, ten years after the song’s initial release. The petition will reach its goal if it receives 100,000 signatures by April 2nd, and though it’s unclear what happens if the petition hits that target, it’s probably safe to assume that Obama has no choice but to make it happen, right?

Here’s how the petition’s creator so eloquently justifies its aim:

“We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen. America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we have realized that after the show, it’s the afterparty, and that after the party, it’s the hotel lobby, and–perhaps most importantly–that ’round about four, you’ve got to clear the lobby, at which point it’s strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody. President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us an anthem that better suits the glorious nation we have become.”

So, what are you waiting for? Even if you’re Canadian, pour yourself a stiff coke and rum to sip on, and go add your signature to the list. Be the change you want to see in the world, and above all else, “bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce.” Daps to Buzzfeed for the killer tip.