I totally see it.

FUN FACT: This isn’t necessarily a “fun fact” (wait, I’m having a column crisis — are any of these really “fun facts”?) per se, but can’t you just imagine the words “Geez Ke$ha, you really turned your breath up to 11 today!” being a real thing that a human being might say in earnest?

#2 (Hot 100): Bruno Mars – Locked Out Of Heaven

What rhymes with bruno? pic.twitter.com/wmO4niY9

— Bruno Mars (@BrunoMars) January 23, 2013

#Phuckyo near-rhymes, Bruno Mars. We demand a legitimate rhyme. We would have accepted:

OR…

FUN FACT: Bruno Mars’ “Locked Out Of Heaven” was ousted from the #1 spot on the Billboard Hot 100 this week, by “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. That puts Macklemore in the company of five other white rappers who have had #1 hits on the Hot 100: Vanilla Ice, Marky Mark, Snow, Eminem, and Crazy Town.

#9 (Hot 100): Justin Bieber – Beauty And A Beat

i would like to repeat. I met MICHAEL JORDAN tonight! #SWAG

— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) January 23, 2013

I wonder if Justin Bieber’s encounter was anything like Chamillionaire’s chance meeting with Michael Jordan:

(Hat-tip to Chayne Japal for sending me this clip.)

FUN FACT: Apparently, Justin Bieber’s mom produced a pro-life film that’s going to screen in over 1000 locations by the end of 2013. Good news: it looks terrible.

#5 (Hot 100): Taylor Swift – I Knew You Were Trouble

Did you hear that? It was the sound of Ed Sheeran breathing a huge sigh of relief after getting friendzoned by Taylor Swift. It’s amazing that we heard him all the way across the ocean, but I guess he’s that relieved.

FUN FACT: Maybach Music rapper Rockie Fresh name-dropped Taylor Swift on his new mixtape: “I’d rather listen to Taylor Swift than most of you niggas.” Skip to 3:03 to hear it.