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The FBI officially classifies Juggalos as a "loosely-organised hybrid gang"

by Tyler Munro

According to the FBI’s 2011 National Gang Threat Assessment report, Juggalos are to be feared. They’re a “loosely-organized hybrid gang,” which explains all the crushed Faygo cans in the back alley behind my house and constant whoop-dee-whooping clamouring each night though the city’s streets.

And no, this isn’t a joke. The 104 page report, which you can read here, notes that while only four states officially recognize Juggalos as a gang (Arizona, California, Pennsylvania, and Utah), their crime sprees are on the rise. Plus there was that one time they through garbage at a topless Tila Tequila. That was uncalled for.

“Crimes committed by Juggalos are sporadic, disorganized, individualistic, and often involve simple assault, personal drug use and possession, petty theft, and vandalism,” reads the report, adding “open source reporting suggests that a small number of Juggalos are forming more organized subsets and engaging in more gang-like criminal activity, such as felony assaults, thefts, robberies, and drug sales.”

The report continues: “Juggalos’ disorganization and lack of structure within their groups, coupled with their transient nature, makes it difficult to classify them and identify their members and migration patterns. Many criminal Juggalo subsets are comprised of transient or homeless individuals, according to law enforcement reporting. Most Juggalo criminal groups are not motivated to migrate based upon traditional needs of a gang. However, law enforcement reporting suggests that Juggalo criminal activity has increased over the past several years and has expanded to several other states. Transient, criminal Juggalo groups pose a threat to communities due to the potential for violence, drug use/sales, and their general destructive and violent nature.”

Read the whole thing here. It starts on page 21. Our suggestion for if a Juggalo gets in your face? Use a water gun. We doubt they’re using the fancy, water-resistant make-up.