Music

POP UNCULTURED: A roundup of weird happenings in music for the week

by Anne T. Donahue

Since it’s impossible to address the total madness of the music industry in only five days, Pop Uncultured saves some of the week’s strangest stories for Friday afternoon. Enjoy?

Buzzkill alert: Celine Dion shut down “Ridiculous Pictures of Celine Dion” Tumblr [FULL STORY]

There are about 25925825 puns to be made about her heart going on (and/or because someone loved her), but the blog’s curator did a much better job than any of us ever could. RIP RPOCD. 🙁

Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake give us the History of Rap (part two!) [FULL STORY]

Sometimes matches are made in heaven; sometimes dreams take flight.

There is a Sesame Street/Beastie Boys mash-up and it’s really the only thing you should care about [FULL STORY]

This isn’t so much “weird” as it is “awesome.” But are you really going to complain about Grover throwing it down? (No.)

Bette Midler is mad at Lady Gaga for stealing her “mermaid in a wheelchair” bit

In what can only be compared to the Seinfeld-Bania debacle, Rolling Stone reports that Bette Midler is rattled about Lady Gaga ripping off her alter-ego “Delores Delago,” because damn it, Mama Monster’s “Yuyi” is just TOO CLOSE. But whatever guys, let’s see if you can spot the difference:

Finally – FINALLY – you can hear Rebecca Black‘s new single [FULL STORY]

Just remember that every year, hundreds of thousands of talented musicians* never get signed. At least one really deserving person broke through.

* Maybe an underestimate.

If Bruce Springsteen ever ran for governor of New Jersey, he would win (obviously)

So a poll was given about a hypothetical situation, and that was if Bruce Springsteen ever ran for governor of New Jersey (he would win).

Then Rolling Stone crushed our dreams when they said The Boss is unlikely to run for office (of a state within a country I don’t live in).

Chris Brown is going to star in a romantic comedy

So NME reports that two years after the Rihanna assault (and a few months after going ape shit at Good Morning America), Chris Brown has been cast in a film version of the self-help book, Think Like A Man. There are about thirteen billion things wrong with this scenario, so we can assume the production meeting went something like this:

Suit 1: “And who should we cast in this blockbuster of a film?”
Suit 2: “Chris Brown, obviously.”
Suit 1: “Well that’s the most appropriate thing I’ve heard all month! Let’s continue our six-day day bender.”

Justin Bieber wants to play the bass

Of course Justin Bieber wants to play bass, he’s already a drummer and the bass is only the coolest instrument in the world (and my opinion is entirely based on J-Biebs describing it as “cool” when he said it’d be “cool to play bass one day.” [via Music-News]

Cool like this, Biebs? COOL LIKE THIS?

J-Lo and Marc Anthony are through

Everyone in the world has reported that J-Lo and Marc Anthony’s marriage has ended, and while it’s always sad when these things come to an end, you’re now privy to the moment it all came crashing down:

Pharrell Williams is going to make a drink for THE LADIES!

Women of the world, we can finally breathe a sigh of relief because Pharrell Williams has made a drink JUST FOR US! If you “work hard” and “want to relax with friends at the end of the day,” you can just go ahead and break every bottle of wine and beer and vodka you have and purchase an endless supply Qream because everything else is garbage and no one has ever understood what we like to drink until now. (And if you’re a dude and like strawberries and cream/peaches and cream flavoured beverages, TOO DAMN BAD THIS IS OURS.) [via NME]