Music

#Top40Tweets for the week: Cee Lo on 69ing, Bruno Mars pelvic thrusts at haters, and Wiz Khalifa takes a $6000 pee

by Aaron Zorgel

June 10, 2011

At the end of each week, #Top40Tweets lists a cross-section of artists on the current pop charts and puts their tweets on display (along with their current chart number) for your enjoyment/scrutiny. This week, we look at 6 artists on the Billboard Music Charts.

#22: Cee Lo Green – F**k You (Forget You)

Think about the logistics of 69ing with Cee Lo, just for a second. I really don’t know how anyone could do it. He’s just too stout.

Worth Following?: I assume that after thinking about that, anyone who sat down to read this has since closed the browser and is now taking a shower. So, I won’t bother with commentary. Cee Lo, you’re gross.

#4: Bruno Mars – The Lazy Song

In my mind, it’s pretty tough to thrust to any of Bruno’s tunes. They’re all so bland and wimpy. It’d be like thrusting to a “Sounds of the Ocean” relaxation tape.

Worth Following?: I always talk about how much I hate Bruno Mars, but I keep featuring his tweets here on a regular basis. Also, I keep having these fever dreams where I think Bruno is singing “Just The Way You Are” over and over at the foot of my bed. What’s happening to me?

#63: Katy Perry – Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)

Well, at least she’s self aware.

Worth Following?: If you’ll listen to her new single “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.),” she’s totally right — vapid slut jam. But she’s at least doing something kind of interesting with the video, which drops June 14th. She’s created an alter ego for herself, named Kathy Beth Terry (pictured above) and she’s pretty much the inverse to Beyoncé’s Sasha Fierce. If you bounce to Katy’s official Facebook page, you can watch some teasers and some short clips featuring the bespectacled, mouth-brace adorned 13 year-old character. Katy is going for a bit of a Kristen Wiig or (dare I say) even an Amy Sedaris vibe, and only falling a little short. It’s nice to see a pop-star show a little personality, and go out on a limb with a creative idea. Also, full disclosure, I’m in love with her.

#15: Wiz Khalifa – Roll Up

When I think about Wiz taking a pee, I like to imagine him singing “Makin’ yellow, makin’ yellow, makin’ yellow” to the tune of “Black & Yellow.” After a night at the bar, I usually feel like I’m pissing my money down the drain, too. The difference is, for me to take a $6000 piss, I’d have to drink about a thousand beers.

Worth Following?: Yes. It’s been a while since I’ve featured a tweet by Wiz, because he recently switched over to Tumblr for a while. His Tumblr is awesome (maybe one of the best ones I follow), but it lacked the punchiness of his “waken baken” one-liners. He seems to be migrating back to Twitter as of late, and it’s really nice to have him back in my feed.

#20: Ke$ha – Blow

Truth! For the uninformed, Waffle House is a super-popular greasy spoon fixture of the southern States. Beautiful Dream, or Vegan’s Nightmare? Certainly both:

All those late nights partying and breakfasts at Waffle House would catch up to anyone. Check out a recent shot of Ke$ha’s beach bod. YOU GO GIRL:

Worth Following?: Yes. Love or hate Ke$ha, I think she nailed it on this one. I like it when celebs aren’t afraid to pig out once in a while. It makes me feel better about that (those) time (times) when I finished an entire sleeve of oreos.

Welcome to the first installment of…

WHERE IS KANYE?

DAY 86 WITHOUT A TWEET FROM KANYE