Music

POP UNCULTURED: A roundup of weird happenings in music for the week

by Anne T. Donahue

Since it’s impossible to address the total madness of the music industry in only five days, Pop Uncultured saves some of the week’s strangest stories for Friday afternoon. Enjoy?

10. Madonna‘s a comic book now because, well why wouldn’t she be? [FULL STORY]
Maybe you remember the time Britney Spears was going to be a comic book. Or maybe you don’t. Either way, Madonna’s about to be immortalized in graphic novel form, and I’m sure we can all agree that it’s awesome that none of our moms act like Madonna.

9. Justin Bieber was ATTACKED! [FULL STORY]
Ignore the fact he was at his perfume launch, or the fact that he was at his perfume launch, and let’s concentrate for a minute on the fact that a GROWN MAN jumped the barrier and tackled this wee one to the ground. Uncool, crazy uncle whoever-you-are.

In other news, this photo exists:

8. In which Justin Bieber texts ‘Lil Wayne “every night”
Ignore the fact I’ve reported (ha!) on Justin Bieber twice in a row, and simply embrace that the liddle guy allegedly texts Lil’ Wayne incessantly, persuading him to collaborate. But too bad, Biebs! You may be the rapper’s “homie,” but he is NOT going to do your “damn song”. (Sorry.) [via NME]

7. Train is launching “Drops of Jupiter” wine [FULL STORY]
I don’t know about you, but when I listen to terribly sappy songs of the early ’00s I need to drink as well. Thus, this seems like a perfectly logical business decision. Up next? Organic vegetables from the makers of “The Hamster Dance”.

6. This guy had a terrible time at NXNE because he ate Pizza Pizza [FULL STORY]
So NXNE happened last week, and a person from the AV Club descended on our fair city to catch it. He saw girls wearing fishnets and ate Pizza Pizza and really didn’t seem to like us very much. Maybe that’s why he only saw 2.5 bands and went to the movies.

5. 50 Cent writing an anti-bullying book for teens [FULL STORY]
AND THIS IS THE COVER (NOT):

4. Patti Smith was on Law and Order: Criminal Intent and now you get to see it (!) [FULL STORY]
But seriously, Patti Smith could be on Rachel Ray and still be cooler than any of us.

3. FINALLY you can watch the ENTIRE Lady Gaga-inspired Weird Al video and I will finally stop talking about it once and for all (maybe)[FULL STORY]

2. Prince hates the internet
So the artist-formerly-known-as-the-artist-formerly-known-as-Prince told Spinner that he’s done recording until the internet is no longer so “dog-eat-dog” and/or “like the gold rush”. Hopefully, he was just doing an impression of this guy:

1. Limp Bizkit release a new music video and it’s not Nookie but we all wish it was [FULL STORY]
Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

I think we know who wins that round.