Music
50 Cent's TV series showed his dick and he's pissed
by Richard Howard
August 10, 2016
He was cool with it until he realized his Auntie would be seeing his junk.
I’m starting to think 50 Cent doesn’t like sharing the spotlight. Remember his beef with The Game? That started due to what he perceived as preferential treatment the Game was receiving from their record company Interscope, and 50 held the grudge for over a decade. Now, it looks like Fiddy is taking issue with the spotlight being put on another high-profile collaborator. I am, of course, talking about his dick.
Thing is, 50 Cent arguably owes a large portion of his success to his ‘magic-stick,’ which (verbally) co-starred in one of his biggest hits. So you’d think he wouldn’t begrudge his wiener a little camera time to take a bow – but when it tried to holla at the fans, Curtis James Jackson III was having exactly none of it.
Contrary to my immediate assumption when I heard the story, this wasn’t a wardrobe malfunction a la Lenny Kravitz. 50 Cent is a cast member in the Starz drama Power, and in Saturday’s episode, his character Kanan engages in mutual masturbation with a lady named Candie. Fine, usual “ooo how edgy” cable-drama fare – except at one point, 50’s actual real dick makes a shadowy cameo. And at first, the rapper was magnanimous in sharing the no doubt Emmy-bound scene with Lil’ Curtis, as evidenced in a TV Guide interview.
My penis is going to debut! I don’t give a fuck. First it was supposed to be darker [after footage was edited.] You couldn’t see it on the screen. [A producer ] was like, ‘I gotta show you! When you put it on the screen, you can see it.’ I don’t care.
But then, after the episode aired, 50 had a change of heart. And not like buyer’s remorse change of heart; more like Mr. Hyde change of heart. In a series of (surprise, now-deleted) posts, he first acted like he wasn’t even sure what he just saw:
…and then lost it on show creator Courtney Kemp, utilizing the tried and true 14-year-old’s tactic of all caps to show his rage while yelling “BITCH I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT WITH OUT [sic] TELLING ME FIRST, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!” (Worthy of note is the continuation of the 14-year-old motif with the use of an eggplant emoji to represent his genitals.)
Intense. So, wait. Why the flip-flop? Was it the always media-savvy Fiddy recognizing an opportunity for publicity? Is it, once again, a tantrum at the thought of the spotlight being stolen from his fantastically toothy face? These are no doubt factors… but the main reason is far more glorious. Dude lost his mind because he realized his Auntie would be watching the show.
I can hear the phone call now. “Auntie G, you know I would never do that! They tricked me! Imma get to the bottom of this, I swear. Church Sunday?”
Give it up, guy – she knows that you’re a P.I.M.P. As for Kemp, she replied in the manner of an exasperated but level-headed school teacher dealing with a bratty student. Now if only she could teach 50 to share.
