Music

POP UNCULTURED: A roundup of weird happenings in music for the week ending May 20, 2011

by Anne T. Donahue

Since it’s impossible to address the total madness of the music industry in only five days, Pop Uncultured saves some of the week’s strangest stories for Friday afternoon. Enjoy?

Two Newlyweds performed a Metallica song at their Beatles-themed wedding [FULL STORY]
Sometimes all you need to do is write a title, post a video and go “AW!”

Neil Diamond was almost Robert De Niro [FULL STORY]
He WISHES! But seriously, folks: everybody’s favourite Will Ferrell character recently claimed that “he was considered for [Taxi Driver] for a whole minute before they signed De Niro”, officially making 1980’s The Jazz Singer a Taxi Driver for a whole new generation. Or at least “what Taxi Driver would’ve looked like if it starred Neil Diamond.”

50 Cent is still an actor (!!!11oneone!)
First there was that trailer. And the comedy site. And, well, that’s about it. But if you were concerned that Fiddy was going to pigeon-hole himself into making prank phone calls and losing too much weight, NME reports that the rapper will play blind DJ Shamus Cocobolo in the film Odd Thomas. So get that Oscar pool started!

Mariah Carey gave birth while watching a concert of herself [FULL STORY]
In what can only be described as the next logical step after putting a mirror on your ceiling, Mariah Carey gave birth to her twins while watching a video of herself performing “Fantasy” at Madison Square Gardens. Evidently, husband Nick Cannon claims that “they came out to a round of applause.” Experience the delivery room magic below:

Ke$ha is really “experimental” for real
Stop saying that Ke$ha’s unoriginal, okay? Music-News has reported that she received a tooth from a fan (so relieved – I was worried she wouldn’t get it), and now wants to collect teeth so she can wear a “fan tooth necklace” to an awards show. “She’s just so artistic and unique, guys,” said nobody.

Somebody stole Tyler the Creator’s shoe in Toronto
We could report on the whole Tyler/Sara debacle, or we could discuss how somebody stole Tyler’s shoe from the Mod Club, and he really, really wants it back. Yeah, let’s do that.

Fergie got sick in Mexico, and her husband is the bro king
Josh Duhamel told Ellen Degeneres that on their anniversary, Fergie-Ferg got the stomach flu and “vomited all over the place,” and he was all “happy anniversary, babe – I’m going to go surf!” In other news, isn’t Josh Duhamel just a TOTAL CATCH? What a nice guy, seriously. [via NME]

Limp Bizkit release a new single; signs of Rapture confirmed [FULL STORY]
The album art means nothing without the sounds of Fred Durst’s midlife crisis.

Rob Zombie directs an ad for laundry detergent [FULL STORY]
You know what’s hardcore? WOOLITE, motherfuckers. That’s why Rob Zombie agreed to direct a commercial for the detergent brand, where we can only assume that he’ll show the perils of grass stains, and the retaliation faced when you spill wine on a pair of white trousers. [Insert menacing growl here.]

Don’t talk to Katy Perry if you drive her around
If you’re just a lowly driver, don’t you dare talk to or look at Katy Perry, because, seriously, she’s too busy focusing on her two cream coloured “egg chairs” and whether the backstage area will be “draped in cream or soft pink.” According to her rider, chauffeurs are not to “start a conversation with” or “stare at the backseat through the rear view mirror,” because seriously, they just drive cars for a living so they’re obviously not human beings or anything. [via NME]