Sports
Lil B blessed the Blue Jays on Norm Kelly's behalf
by Jeremy Mersereau
October 14, 2015
The Jays have killed it since the Based God came down from the Twittertop and let his will be known.
As far as baseball superstitions go, there are a lot more ridiculous beliefs than trusting that a hyper-prolific Internet rapper/motivational speaker/sports fan has made your team invincible by dint of his powerful Tweet game.
I mean, Wade Boggs would only eat chicken before every game! Chicken! How weird is that!? It’s not exactly surprising, then, that many baseball and rap fans are earnestly wondering: Is the Toronto Blue Jays’ recent back-from-the-brink success due to Lil B?
Like many of us, Toronto Ward 40 city councillor/Drake’s DUFF Norm Kelly was full of quiet desperation after the Blue Jays went down in their first two ALDS playoff games against the Texas Rangers, 5-3 and 6-4 respectively. Unlike many of us, who were already resigning ourselves to a sweep and melancholic chorus of “next year”, Kelly wasn’t content to just sit back and let the Jays end their postseason in such a disheartening manner. He knew, just as the heroes of old, that there was only one course of action that could turn things around: use our generations’ stand-in for the Oracle of Delphi (Twitter) to talk to the God of Sports Curse-Breaking (Lil B), and beg him for his favour:
Hallelujah! Kelly’s earnest prayer was answered, and the Scourge of the Jinx answered from Mount Olympus (Berkeley, California). As we all know by now, no doubt thanks to Lil B’s blessing, the Jays rallied in Game 3 on Sunday, blowing past the Rangers in Arlington 5-1. Most of us would be content with this, but perhaps shaken by the prospect of R.A. Dickey’s knuckleball (John Gibbons sure was), Norm decided the Based God needed to further clarify his position, a move which doesn’t come across as desperate or thirsty at all:
Settle down, Norm.
Of course, the Jays did have an exemplary early-game performance on Monday, racking up an impressive 7-0 lead… by the third inning, eventually winning 8-4. With Game 5 at home today, we’ll have to wait until this afternoon to see if Lil B’s based benediction helps the Jays advance, but now might be a good time for Based God to consider a lucrative rebrand to the On-Base God, and get a Jimmy the Greek-style prediction segment with Gregg Zaun.
