Music

Sharon Osbourne thinks Metallica's Lars Ulrich needs a good slap

by Richard Howard

He’s the drummer of and co-writer for the greatest thrash metal band of all time, but to many people Metallica’s Lars Ulrich is most well known for his uncanny ability to put his foot in his mouth. His overzealous crusade against Napster (which included suing the company and reporting Metallica fans for sharing the band’s music) is perhaps his best known public misstep and resulted in music fans and the Internet hilariously tearing him a new one. And even with his mouth shut, he somehow manages to get himself into comically embarrassing situations. Don’t ever change, you delightfully dopey Dane.

Another celebrity known for having outspoken ways is Sharon Osbourne. As both Ozzy’s wife and manager, she’s never shied away from giving her opinion on the many participants in the rock ‘n’ roll circus that she interacts with (her press statement concerning Billy Corgan and quitting her role as The Smashing Pumpkins’ manager is pure gold). So when Metallica came up during her and Ozzy’s stint as guest hosts on the SiriusXM satellite radio channel ‘Ozzy’s Boneyard’, Sharon had some choice words to share. It started off innocuously enough:

“I feel like we’re their parents. We’ve known them from when they were so young, and seeing them all grow up, have their own families…It’s family. You know, they are family. And [we have] so much respect for Metallica. And [I] just personally love each and every one of ’em.”

However, she felt the need to add a quick post-script on Lars specifically: “Lars [Ulrich] is a bit of a bigmouth — he needs a good slap sometimes — but we love him.”

Want to give yourself a giggling fit? Try this exercise. Imagine a young Metallica on tour. Now picture Lars walking up to Ozzy and Sharon and saying something really, really dumb. Now imagine Sharon haul off and deliver a resounding slap.

Good times, good times.