Music

Songwriter responsible for Rebecca Black's "Friday" is at it again

by Tyler Munro

Patrice Wilson struck unintentional gold with “Friday,” the Rebecca Black song that took the young singer’s nasally, shrill singing voice straight to the top of the charts. Finally, after two years, he’s back with “Chinese Food,” a similarly terrible teen-sung single by Alison Gold that’s uniting the online world in another unfortunate bit of schadenfreude.

This one’s even worse, if you can believe it, adding a dash of casual racism into the cookie cutter formula. Furthermore, the video is filled with nonsensical frills, from multi-language subtitles to a few bizarre scenes with a panda (a brown bear would have made more sense). We’d rather not share something this horrible, but since you’re bound to see it anyway we’d rather the bad news come from us. Thankfully a more rapid news cycle ensures this one won’t last nearly as long as “Friday” did.

Here are the lyrics, in case, after hearing them, you’re confused as to whether what you’re hearing is correct:

After balling I go clubbing
Then I’m hugging
Then I’m hungry and I’m walking on the street
and I’m getting getting getting getting grumpy grumpy

I see Chow, by my right
I smell food in the air
It’s Chinese Food, my favorite
So I’m getting getting getting getting hungry

I love Chinese food (Yeah)
you know that it’s true (Yeah)
I love fried rice (Yeah)
I love noodles (Yeah)
I love Chow mein
Chow Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo Mein

I love Chinese food (Yeah)
you know that it’s true (Yeah)
I love fried rice (Yeah)
I love noodles (Yeah)
I love Chow mein
Chow Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo Mein

Read the menu
They got broccoli
Even chicken wings
Make it spicy
And you like it
Cause it’s beautiful
And it tastes so so so good

I like the egg rolls
And the wonton soup
This makes me feel so so good
Fortune cookies, tell my future
Chinese Chinese Food

I love Chinese food (Yeah)
you know that it’s true (Yeah)
I love fried rice (Yeah)
I love noodles (Yeah)
I love Chow mein
Chow Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo Mein

I love Chinese food (Yeah)
you know that it’s true (Yeah)
I love fried rice (Yeah)
I love noodles (Yeah)
I love Chow mein
Chow Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo Mein

[Patrice Wilson:]
Yo!
I like Chinese food
And some Wonton soup
Get me broccoli
While I play Monopoly
Don’t be a busy bee
Cause it’s your fantasy
To eat Chinese food
Egg roll and Chop Suey
I use the chopsticks
To eat pot sticks
Put some hot sauce and sweet and sour make it sweet
Because Chinese food takes away my stress
Now I’m going to go eat Panda Express

I love Chinese food (Yeah)
you know that it’s true (Yeah)
I love fried rice (Yeah)
I love noodles (Yeah)
I love Chow mein
Chow Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo Mein

I love Chinese food (Yeah)
you know that it’s true (Yeah)
I love fried rice (Yeah)
I love noodles (Yeah)
I love Chow mein
Chow Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo Mein

Annnd here’s Rebecca Black, so we can all remember a simpler time.