AMERICAN IDOL RECAP: California Dreamin' / Songs They Wish They'd Written (5/9/2012 & 5/10/2012)

by Aaron Zorgel

Pop Hunter is re-capping the grotesque display of culture that is American Idol all season. Here’s what you need to know from this week’s round, which aired May 9th and May 10th.

There are four contestants left, which means Idol producers are more and more struggling to fill a two hour time-slot, with under-rehearsed duets, built-in extended commercials for Rock Of Ages, and the redundant ramblings of Idol spirit-guide Steven Tyler. How many ways can Stevie T take 45 seconds to say “I liked it” in one show? Turn it into a drinking game, and the bottle will be gone before Phillip Phillips’ second round of DMB-style folksturbation. Hey, The Voice is over, so there’s no real need for Idol to keep it competitive at this point. Maybe there will be fewer veiled comments from Randy Jackson saying performances were the best he’s seen on **ANY** singing show. Randy is acting more and more like the Don Cherry of televised singing competitions, yelling half-baked catchphrases, name-dropping, and wearing a pink plaid suit with a high collar.

We’re getting closer to the end, and the contestants are managing just fine with very little guidance from Jimmy and outside mentors. There are no mistakes, and no surprises — at this point it’s a race to the finish. Comments from the judges are just there to fill time and build the contestants up, readying them for the Interscope money-making machine. The Top Ten will go on tour this summer, make Jimmy Iovine and FOX a ton of money, and then get discarded. Most of them will disappear from the spotlight immediately, and return to their schools and towns as minor celebrities. Some will trot out their signature Idol songs at their local coffee house, wondering how anyone could possibly perform without in-ear monitors and teleprompters.

Without being too cynically sobering, let’s dig into the performances, and see how the contestants handled the suspiciously vague theme of “California Dreamin’ / Songs They Wish They’d Written.”

Performances:

Joshua Ledet – You Raise Me Up & It’s A Man’s, Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World

Joshua’s performance of “You Raise Me Up” was fine, but the fact that he was actually hoisted up on a platform during the song’s climax was cheese-ball to the max. There’s got to be some footage of him testing out the platform during rehearsals, and panicking, screaming “get me down! get me down!” Thankfully, producers decided not to mess with “It’s A Man’s, Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World.” Joshua stood his ground, and worked himself into a flawless frenzy, growling through the James Brown classic.

Hollie Cavanagh – Faithfully & I Can’t Make You Love Me

I can’t even look at Hollie as a contender in this competition anymore. To me, she’s just the contestant who robbed Skylar’s place in the Top 4. The judges are always calling her a “power singer,” which in my mind, is just a polite way of outing her as a throaty, yell-y blonde demon. If the whole singing career thing doesn’t work out, she might have a chance at a role in the next Hollywood exorcism horror flick with Catholic overtones. Seriously, her face is starting to creep me out.

Phillip Phillips – Have You Ever Seen The Rain & Volcano

If I had to wager a guess, I’d bet that Phil is kinda like that guy from your local community college who wears sandals year-round and smells like patchouli and buttsweat. He isn’t even enrolled in the school, he just jams out in a drum circle with his hippie pals all day long. A little bit of hacky sack, and a little bit of ganj is all he needs. And his gutiar, of course. He spends one month a year following the Dave Matthews Band on tour, and every other Saturday opening for a Creedence Clearwater Revival cover band called “Jeremiah and the Bullfrogs” at the local watering hole. When did we start validating these guys? His performance of “Have You Ever Seen The Rain?” was godawful, and the fact that he whipped out a Damien Rice song just confirms my suspicions that this guy’s natural habitat is an acoustic open mic at a organic vegan cafe/co-op. The tragedy is, he’s the only white male left in the competition, and those types tend to do well in this competition, hacky sack or no hacky sack.

Jessica Sanchez – Steal Away & And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going