Remember listening to the radio? No, not on some new-fangled satellite doohickey. Not streaming it online, either, wise-guy. I’m talking about dialing into your favourite terrestrial frequency, and drumming on your steering wheel while driving, or listening to the AM/FM tuner on your very first walkman way past your bedtime. When did that become so goddamned intolerable? In 2012, listening to the radio is like a jungle safari. There are exotic wonders to be found, but you’ve gotta keep your head up at all times. Ride that radio dial like you would the vines on a tree, swinging like Tarzan from branch to branch in search of your favourite song. Avoid commercials like you would blood thirsty lions. Avoid wacky morning radio DJs like you would Ivory poachers. You’re a Pop Hunter now, and it’s time to start acting like one. Our patented RADIO SURVIVAL GUIDE will feature three songs that are brand new to pop radio, and tell you whether or not they’re worth your time. Welcome to the jungle.

Nelly Furtado – Big Hoops (Bigger The Better)

Nelly Furtado is back in a big way with this new single, produced by music industry colossus Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins. “Big Hoops” is the first single from Furtado’s new album The Spirit Indestructible, which is her first English-language release since the mainstream breakthrough hit Loose. After Loose, Nelly seemed to shy away from the spotlight. She released a Spanish-language album called Mi Plan, and effectively disappeared from American mainstream radio, a platform that had embraced her fully in 2006. It looks as though part of Nelly’s plan was just to take a hiatus from slick radio pop, because “Big Hoops” comes locked and loaded with Nelly’s signature blend of sexiness and quirk, assuring her audience that her days of being a “Maneater” are not over. As poppy and palatable this song is, it’s got a lot of weird things going on sonically, thanks to Darkchild’s proclivity to spacious synth layers. The coolest part of the song comes at the tail-end of the arrangement, when the beat drops out and Nelly says “Oh, I thought the song was over. [laughing] Nope, it ain’t over yet.” Darkchild drops a brief but satisfying double-time jungle beat, while introducing pitched down vocals, steering the song in a completely unexpected direction. It’s kinda freaky-deaky, and I like it.

Musicality: 4/5
Lyrics: 4/5
Originality: 4/5
Repeat Listenability: 4/5

Total: 16/20

Radio Survival Recommendation: Nelly is back. Pump it.

Maroon 5 – Payphone feat. Wiz Khalifa

“Moves Like Jagger” was the first time Maroon 5 worked with an outside writer, penning the smash hit with producer Benny Blanco and Swedish songwriter Shellback. Based on the success of that song, Maroon 5 decided to partner with superstar pop producer Max Martin on their new record Overexposed, who assumed the role of executive producer on the record. The majority of the songs on Overexposed are written by Maroon 5, Max Martin, Benny Blanco, Shellback, and Ryan Tedder, who is better known as the frontman of OneRepublic. These four outside writers have a veritable monopoly on pop production, and their stronghold on the charts is always evident in strong songwriting, slick production, and hooks galore. “Payphone” is a wistful pop anthem, wherein, you guessed it, Adam Levine is mournful of a love gone wrong. Levine delivers his trademark catchy falsetto hooks over a background track that fuses Maroon 5’s rock band instincts with Max Martin’s electronic production elements. A guest verse from Wiz Khalifa will give this track enough clout to contend on the charts, but don’t worry, it’s not nearly as annoying as “Moves Like Jagger.”

Musicality: 3/5
Lyrics: 3/5
Originality: 3/5
Repeat Listenability: 3/5

Total: 12/20

Radio Survival Recommendation: You’ll probably get sick of it pretty quickly, but rest assured in knowing there are greater evils on the radio than Maroon 5. Like LMFAO.

Carrie Underwood – Good Girl

We rarely cover country music artists on Pop Hunter, but Carrie Underwood has a potential crossover hit on her hands with “Good Girl,” so it seems up for grabs. “Good Girl” is the lead single from Underwood’s fourth album Blown Away, and it’s been creeping up the Billboard Hot 100 since its release, currently sitting at #34. Carrie is more known for her power ballads, so she rarely crosses over into pop radio territory, but this uptempo vocal piece is a well crafted hybrid hit that will shine some much-deserved mainstream light on Underwood’s incredible voice.

Musicality: 4/5
Lyrics: 4/5
Originality: 3/5
Repeat Listenability: 4/5

Total: 15/20

Radio Survival Recommendation: Think about the worst boyfriend you’ve ever had, and air-punch to the beat of this song until your arms are tired.