Remember listening to the radio? No, not on some new-fangled satellite doohickey. Not streaming it online, either, wise-guy. I’m talking about dialling into your favourite terrestrial frequency, and drumming on your steering wheel while driving, or listening to the AM/FM tuner on your very first walkman way past your bedtime. When did that become so goddamned intolerable? In 2012, listening to the radio is like a jungle safari. There are exotic wonders to be found, but you’ve gotta keep your head up at all times. Ride that radio dial like you would the vines on a tree, swinging like Tarzan from branch to branch in search of your favourite song. Avoid commercials like you would blood thirsty lions. Avoid wacky morning radio DJs like you would Ivory poachers. You’re a Pop Hunter now, and it’s time to start acting like one. Our patented RADIO SURVIVAL GUIDE will feature three songs that are brand new to pop radio, and tell you whether or not they’re worth your time. Welcome to the jungle. 

Nicki Minaj – By My Side feat. Chris Brown

Nicki Minaj teams up with Chris Brown on what is rumoured to be the second single off of Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded. It’s an upbeat, catchy puppy-love anthem that reserves all rapping until almost 3 minutes into the song. From what we’ve seen so far on Reloaded, Nicki seems to be steadying the course of her ascension to pop diva level stardom, favouring sugary pop ballads over edgy hip-hop tracks. Despite the dubious presence of Chris Brown, which might turn off some listeners, “By My Side” is tailor-made for Billboard Chart success. A catchy stuttering chorus hook, big booming 808 drums, and a satisfying major chord progression make this song one of the best preview cuts off of Roman Reloaded.

Musicality: 4/5
Lyrics: 4/5
Originality: 3/5
Repeat Listenability: 4/5

Total: 15/20

Radio Survival Recommendation: Crank this joint up and bob your head to it in your car. This is the “Moment 4 Life” of 2012.

Katy Perry – Wide Awake

Katy Perry Presents: Anthem For The Russel Brand Rebound. Just like “Part of Me,” the lyrics of this song seem to be largely based on recent events in Perry’s personal life: “Thunder rumbling, castles crumbling / I am trying to hold on, God knows that I tried / Seeing the bright side / But I’m not blind anymore, I’m wide awake.” The song was co-written by Perry and singer/songwriter Bonnie McKee, who has written with Perry on “Last Friday Night,” “California Gurls,” and “Part of Me.” If “Part of Me,” was the anger stage of a breakup, “Wide Awake” is more about acceptance. It’s a mid-tempo power ballad with a big chorus, and a dynamic structure that uses atmospheric synth pads to give the song a melodically epic backbone for some emotionally charged lyrics. It’s not Perry’s finest work, but it’s solid. More importantly for Perry, it makes The Complete Confection seem slightly less like a joke of a cash-grab.

Musicality: 3/5
Lyrics: 3/5
Originality: 3/5
Repeat Listenability: 4/5

Total: 13/20

Radio Survival Recommendation: It’s not going to achieve “favourite song” status by any reach of the imagination, but it’ll fill the void until KP can deliver a new string of genius pop smash hits akin to Teenage Dream.

The Wanted – Gold Forever

I was wondering if this amicable Brit boyband was just lucky on their first single “Glad You Came.” It’s a perfect pop song, with a strong hook, good voices, and a unique melodic structure. It was good enough to launch them in North America, but what about a follow-up single? Lucky for them, “Gold Forever” is another incredibly strong offering from The Wanted, and it proves that “Glad You Came” was no fluke. These guys are ready for super-hyper-mega-stardom. At least for the next few months. This type of sugary super-produced pop music is best when the verse, bridge, and chorus melodies can’t stand alone as catchy hooks unto themselves. The Wanted’s have achieved this brilliantly on their first two singles, which will serve the band well in terms of longevity. There are layers and layers of instrumental hooks on this song, including electric guitar, piano, strings, and synths. Any time a section of music begins to sound stale, a new musical flare is becomes the focus of the mix. It’s no surprise that this song succeeds where many ultra-poppy pop songs have failed. It was written and produced by Steve Mac, who has worked with Il Divo, Westlife, Susan Boyle, JLS, One Direction, and more.

Musicality: 4/5
Lyrics: 4/5
Originality: 4/5
Repeat Listenability: 4/5

Total: 16/20

Radio Survival Recommendation: Sing along, dance to it, cry to it, stomp your feet, rob a bank. This song is a great soundtrack for any emotional impulse you might feel on any given day.