Music

Watch the musical performances from the NBA All-Star Game (Nicki Minaj, Mary J. Blige, Pitbull)

by Aaron Zorgel

So, I guess you watched the Oscars last night, right? I saw your tweets about it. Pretty funny stuff. That Billy Crystal is totally a racist, you’re so right. “Oscars? More like the HUGO awards, amiright?” That one cracked me up.

Since you missed out on the NBA All Star Game musical performances, I got you covered. Here’s what went down.

Nicki Minaj – Moment 4 Life, Turn Me On, Starships, Super Bass

It kind of seems like Nicki never really recovers from Moment 4 Life, and she spends most of this medley performance totally out of breath. I have a new standard expectation for choreographed dance-moves after seeing the Cirque du Soleil performance on the Oscars last night, and watching Nicki fumble through some basic steps just doesn’t cut it. I demand athletic excellence.

Mary J. Blige – Star Spangled Banner

About 21 seconds in, you can hear Mary’s cellphone receive a text. The anthem gets pretty “yelly” and all over the place towards the end. I think Mary might have started it in a higher key than she rehearsed. So far, two less than stellar vocal performances. Let’s see if Pitbull can turn it around. HA. HA.

Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Nayer, and Chris Brown – I Know You Want Me, Krazy, Rain Over Me, International Love, Turn Up The Music, Give Me Everything

Before Pitbull’s half-time medley, he probably asked himself “Do you think I’ll sweat enough dancing around with this black suit on?” to which he promptly answered his own question, “No, I’d better put on the black gloves as well.” After fumbling through 3 of his indistinguishable singles, Pitbull was joined on stage by Chris Brown. This is great for me, because just by mentioning the guy means that I’ll get about 20% more hits. Thanks #TeamBreezy! Hey, might as well take advantage of an asshole and a topical situation, right?

Pitbull finishes out the show joined by Ne-Yo and Nayer. Ne-Yo is wearing a fedora at such an extreme angle, he almost definitely had to tape it on to make sure it doesn’t fall off.

So, that was the music of the NBA All Star Game. I guess you’re pretty glad you watched the Oscars, huh?