Music

AMERICAN IDOL RECAP: Portland Auditions (2/1/2012)

by Aaron Zorgel

Pophunter is re-capping the grotesque display of culture that is American Idol all season. Here’s what you need to know from last night’s episode, the San Diego Auditions.

I missed the last week of auditions or so, so let’s waste no time before digging into the talent that the Bohemian Paradise of Portland has to offer. Wait, first let’s watch this:

1. David “2112” Weed

One of the Idol producers HAD to be in on this. A guy auditions with Tom Sawyer on 2112 day? I actually thought he was pretty good. Great name, too.

2. Britnee “I moonlight as a Britney Spears impersonator” Kellogg

There are just so many sob stories on American Idol this season.

3. Jermaine “The Gentle Giant” Jones

Holy christ, by the end of his audition, the sweat on this man could fill a kiddie pool.

4. Brittany “Prototypical Portland Hipster” Zika

Goofy hat, check. Thick rimmed glasses, check. Though if she was really a prototypical Portlandia native, she wouldn’t be auditioning for Idol, she’d be bartering for goods and services with her organic home-grown herbs and spices.

5. Ben “I’m adorable” Harrison

So much baby face. So many kisses blown.

There’s only one more audition episode left, and it airs tonight. They’re in New Jersey. On #jerzday, no less.