Pop Hunter is re-capping the grotesque display of culture that is American Idol all season. Here’s what you need to know from the Top 24 selection, a.k.a. JUDGEMENT DAY Pt.1 & 2.

JUDGEMENT DAY – Part 1 (aired 2/22/2012)

So, we’re getting close. At this point, the top 42 contestants are being whittled down to a lean top 24, and the Idol hopefuls can almost taste it. That means more tears, more trembling nerves, and more seemingly arbitrary decision making from Randy, J-Lo, and Steven Tyler.

CRINGE-WORTHY (Embarassing Moments)

There’s a real forbidden incestuous love thing going on between ol’ tall-hair and his sister. It’s creepy. And goddamn, that hair. Terrible.

LAFF-WORTHY (Hilarious Moments)

This goofball cowboy’s lower than low voice is just ridiculous. He sounds like Harry Shearer’s character in A Mighty Wind.

“WE’RE NOT WORTHY” (Wow, that was actually really good)

Wow. Jessica Sanchez hasn’t really had a chance to shine on the show yet, but that was emotional, saccharine, and beautiful. Fantastic vocal performance. She’s right up there with Jenn Hirsch for my favourite to win it.

JUDGEMENT DAY – Part 2 (aired 2/23/2012)

We’ve got 14 out of the top 24, so with only 10 spots left, let’s see how desperate these contestants get. MORE CRYING. Let’s go.

CRINGE-WORTHY (Embarassing Moments)

Adam “White Chocolate” completely loses it during his final judgement. His eyes are blearly, his face drenched in slime. When he gets the news that he’s in the Top 24, he lunges to the ground and squeaks out some high-pitched sobs of relief. This is 27 year-old man, people. What will happen if he wins? Will his body just release all of its liquid at once, causing the runner-up to wipe-out in a torrent of goo? Probably.

LAFF-WORTHY (Hilarious Moments)

As the credits for the episode roll, Steven Tyler strips down to his skivvies and leaps into the air, executing a fairly athletic dive for a 60 year-old man with the frame of a malnourished witch doctor.

“WE’RE NOT WORTHY” (Wow, that was actually really good)

Here’s your Top 24, America.

Wait, apparently there’s a Top 25? If that Cowboy guy comes back, Imma flip my shit.

‘Til next time!