Music

AMERICAN IDOL RECAP: San Diego Auditions (1/22/2012)

by Aaron Zorgel

Pophunter is re-capping the grotesque display of culture that is American Idol all season. Here’s what you need to know from last night’s episode, the San Diego Auditions.

Delayed by over an hour due to a big stupid Football game, the San Diego episode was ultimately underwhelming. These auditions took place in a bizzaro location (an aircraft carrier!!), and for no apparent reason. The judges battled through the peripheral ambient noise, and managed to send a bunch of contestants through to Hollywood. All the while, Steven Tyler as mugging in some steampunk goggles.

Here are some of the auditions worth checking out:

1. Jane “My dad is Jim Carrey” Carrey

How the fuck is Jim Carrey’s daughter “a waitress on and off”?? Also, THEIR MOUTHS ARE IDENTICAL. LOOK:

2. Ali “I was probably one of those annoying Drama majors” Shields

She’s hopelessly ripping off Karmin, a band that owes their success to ripping off Chris Brown. Laaaame.

3. Aubree “I thought I was on America’s Next Top Model” Dieckmeyer

Dumb, attractive, AND talented = a recipe for success. Look for this girl in the Top 5, for sure.

4. Jayrah “Shake Your Moneymaker” Gibson

Jayrah Gibson, a.k.a. The-Even-Schlubbier-The-Dream. Jump to 0:20 for some context for the following screencap:

5. Jason “Wolf” Hamlin

Rockabilly meets Mumford & Sons meets American Idol meets Golf Course Mechanic.

Hopefully when Idol switches back to a 2 hour format, they’ll have some time to feature some real stinkers. I like watching talented people sing and all, but let’s be honest — American Idol at its most enjoyable is at least 40% trainwreck.