Pophunter is re-capping the grotesque display of culture that is American Idol all season. Here’s what you need to know from last night’s episode, the Pittsburg Auditions.

I enjoyed the Savannah auditions a lot, because there was very balanced mix of terrible hilarity with considerable talent. I’m not sure if it was the fact that last night’s episode was only an hour long, but there was a severe lack of duds. The first rejected audition didn’t come until the 49 minute mark of the episode, ferchristssake. Regardless, here’s a few auditions that should be on your radar, including the aforementioned lone reject of the episode.

1. Shane “Have y’all seen Shrek?” Bruce

You know that song Hallelujah? That song that is exclusive to Shrek? This is undeniably the season’s biggest forehead-slapping moment of disbelief so far. It’ll be hard to top.

2. Reed “Family Matters Scat” Grimm

Thankfully, it’s not that kind of scat.

3. Heejun “Americaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh” Han

Is the world ready for a Korean Michael Bolton? Who cares!

4. Eben “I look like Justin Bieber” Franckewitz

YOU WISH, KID.

5. Samantha “God, my sister is so annoying” Novacek

Samantha brought along her sister, who is known in Pittsburg as “Patty The Pittsburg Planker.” On a related note, in my living room, she is known as “that annoying stupid weirdo.”

So, yeah, Pittsburg kinda sucked. See you next time, when Idol travels to St. Louis, Missouri!