Music
[Lil] Bow Wow is retiring from rap
by Richard Howard
August 8, 2016
Wait. What year is it?
Sit down, because I have some tough news for you to take in. Ready? The artist formerly known as Lil’ Bow Wow is leaving the game, y’all. At 29 years old, Shad Moss is retiring from rap.
Before Moss’ 13 Toronto fans get on my case (The 6 really isn’t a hot spot for the guy, as a Google search for ‘Bow Wow Toronto’ which comes up with mostly dog walkers and a doggy-spa will attest), I’m not belittling his accomplishments. Dude has sold a shit ton of albums, has had an active movie and TV career and made his mark on the cultural zeitgeist at 13 years old. I’m certainly never going to accomplish that, or have his cash flow. Big ups. Here’s the problem. The last two things he’s done (and the only things younger folks will know him for) are hosting BET’s 106 & Park and a role on the short lived CSI: Cyber. Which is fine. But Moss insists on flexing to no one in particular at every turn. Observe:
Bruh. Who are you talking to? Congratulations, I guess? As a result, his retirement announcement posts on social media, which may have seemed innocuous from anyone else, came off as megalomanic proclamations from a guy with the delusion he’s leaving at the top of the game.
And yes, he has the balls to compare himself to Michael Jordan, assuring the world he won’t be “coming back wearing the 4-5” (the number Jordan’s wore when he came out of retirement… the first time).
It’s probably this overconfidence that led trolls to get their troll on – one favourite has been asking where this $20m was in 2012, when he claimed to have $1,500 in his bank account in a bid to avoid paying child support.
Of course, the real hilarity has come in the form of surprise that there’s an existing rap career to retire from. Dig into his Instagram post and you’ll find comments like “your last hit was when I was like 8,” “Lol I thought u retired when I was in elementary school,” and rows of cry-laughing emojis. The savagery is real; so real, in fact, that Moss has started replying personally to people shitting on him. It gets even better. His go-to argument? Comparing himself to Justin Timberlake.
Come on, buddy. That’s like me saying my knee injury in high school prevented me from lighting up the basketball world the same way Derrick Rose’s did. Anyways, there’s good news for devout Bow Wow Believers: Moss will be going out with a bang. His final album, NYTLH will be produced by the one and only Snoop, and it’s going to be hella gangsta, yo.
A photo posted by Bow wow (@shadmoss) on
Lil’ Bow Wow is dead. Long live Lil’ Bow Wow.
Tags: Music, News, bow wow, Lil Bow Wow, retirement, shad moss
