Music

Excitable fools get stuck wearing festival wristbands a month early

by Jeremy Mersereau

Possibly the only thing that exceeds boxer briefs in annoyance/chafing levels are festival wristbands. Who hasn’t spent the entirety of a by-the-numbers set from some Brooklyn buzz band on their 14th minute of fame picking at the fucking things, dreaming of the moment, hours from now, when you’ll be able to rip them off in an orgiastic frenzy of relief? Show of hands? Yep, look at all those frayed ‘banditos.

That’s why some future festivalgoers must be contemplating suicide right now. NYC’s annual Governors Ball festival is on track for early June, featuring performance by Kanye West, The Strokes, Robyn, Beck and more, and wristbands were mailed out to ticketholders earlier this week. If there’s anything we’ve known about excitable teens since the early ’90s, it’s that if you give ’em something to slap on their wrists, they’ll do it immediately without a thought of the consequences:

Weird, “I get excited easily and have very sensitive wrists” is the entirety of my Tinder profile.

Once the wristbands are on, they ain’t coming off, as Cryin’ Annabelle up there has discovered. She wasn’t the only one.

But don’t fret, thinking you’ve permanently cuffed yourself to 30-odd days of sweaty, red-wristed hell: ticketholders can cut their wristbands off and purchase a new one at the fest, for a mere $20. $20 sounds about right as a dork tax, honestly.

[h/t Atlas Obscura]