Music

Louis from One Direction insists his baby is real and not a doll

by Jeremy Mersereau

Never exactly known for their emotional stability, fans of English pop cyborgs One Direction (“Directioners”) have been consumed over the past few weeks with the idea that 1D member Louis Tomlinson’s two-and-a-half month old baby, Freddie, is fake. Such is life in 2016.

To once and for all disprove the notion, bastion of journalistic ethics TMZ snapped photos and a video of Tomlinson and his unequivocally reality-based offspring to shut up the #babygate conspiracy theorists, who maintain that Tomlinson is using fake dolls to… ??? Profit, somehow? Not sure. Oh, it’s to distract the world from Tomlinson’s theorized relationship with fellow 1Der Harry Styles. Seems like a lot of effort.

The story and its attendant video didn’t exactly convince hardline #babygaters on social media, however:

Some are willing to concede that the depicted baby is real, at least, but not that it’s actually Tomlinson’s:

Some probably aren’t doing too much research either way:

For a full breakdown of this madness, head on over to Buzzfeed, who have compiled a complete timeline of the conspiracy theory and its genesis… if that’s how you want to spend your time.

Come on people, OBVIOUSLY, the baby is real. Also real: the fact that 1D is an elite vanguard unit responsible for paving the way for the reptilian takeover of our planet with their pop pablum. I mean, that’s just common knowledge.