Music

South Korea fires back at nuclear test with K-pop assault

by Jeremy Mersereau

Starting at noon Friday (January 8th, Kim Jong-un’s birthday), South Korea plans to set up loudspeakers along the DMZ and blast K-pop across the border. This sonic retaliation comes in response to North Korea’s (alleged, NK claims it was a ‘mere’ hydrogen bomb) nuclear test on January 6.

CUT TO: Kim Jong-un, in his concrete lair, bopping to the sounds of Girls’ Generation: “Ha-ha-ha! My dastardly plan to kickstart the ultimate Pyongyang party worked!” Seriously though, let’s hope the aural assault doesn’t provoke the Kim regime into the ultimate test of their nuclear capabilities.

The Pyongyang Party loudspeaker gambit has only been used once in the last decade, in August of this year, in retaliation for the serious injuries two South Korean soldiers suffered due to mines present in the DMZ. The loudspeaker propaganda broadcasts did appear to have a great, irritating effect on Kim Jong-un and his regime, with one of their main conditions for halting the mobilization of soldiers being the cessation of the broadcasts.

“The resumption of loudspeaker broadcasts may emotionally provoke the North Korean military sensitive to criticism of the ‘supreme dignity,’ rather than help resolve the nuclear issue,” Sejong Institute senior researcher Cheong Seong Chang told Bloomberg.

No word on whether South Korea will be dropping in an elite commando unit composed of G-Dragon, TOP, and 2NE1 into the woods, Metal Gear Solid-style, if the loudspeaker plan backfires.

Next time ISIS starts acting up again, maybe the world should take a page from South Korea’s playbook and blare Kenny Loggins’ Celebrate Me Home through massive speakers into Raqqa.

[h/t Bloomberg]