Music

Florida lawyers use Jimmy Buffett lyrics as legal defence

by Jeremy Mersereau

When you think of Key West, Florida, the sanctity and rustic beauty of the city’s historic district probably comes in second to memories of nibbling on sponge cake, or watching the sun bake, or what mojito tastes like going the other way, which is Key West’s version of the sense-memory madeleine cake scene from In Search Of Lost Time.

Strangely, the city’s venerated Old Town would also probably come in second to thoughts of a goofball 69-year-old musician who has a song about the perfect cheeseburger, an unnerving reality that results in Key West’s city council quoting said goofball in legal challenges.

A Virginia man named Brad Buerhle was hoping to open a tattoo parlour in Key West’s vaunted historic district, but was prevented by a city-wide ban, despite the fact that two parlours already operate in the area due to an earlier lawsuit. When Buerhle challenged the city on their selective anti-ink policy, the city responded by quoting Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville” in their defense of the ordinance, saying that a third tattoo parlour would adversely affect tourism (somehow) and be “detrimental to quality of life.”

The lyrics in question were, of course:

Stayed here all season

With nothing to show but this brand new tattoo.

But it’s a real beauty,

A Mexican cutie,

How it got here, I haven’t a clue.

Of course, the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals didn’t find Key West’s Buffett-laden defence of the ban to be particularly convincing, slapping down the ban with some particularly hilarious commentary. Judge Jill Taylor said that Key West “failed to muster even anecdotal evidence supporting its claims. The closest the city came to presenting evidence on the impact on tourism was a passing reference to a few lines of a Jimmy Buffett song, and we are unsure whether even that reference fully supports its position.” It’s true! The narrator in “Margaritaville” doesn’t seem particularly displeased with his ‘real beauty’ of a tat.

Godspeed, Brad Buerhle. May all the inebriated tourists you ink up awake the next morning, stunned by the beauty of your Mexican cuties.

[h/t Esquire]