Music

The biggest music news stories of 2015

by Dan MacRae

2016 is on its way and we here at AUX are ready to welcome our new calendar overlord with open arms and the occasional human sacrifice. Before we gaze into the future (so shiny!), we thought it might be worthwhile to look back at the big news stories of 2015. We’re indiscriminate peepers, so expect a casserole of actual big stories seasoned with all the goofy fixings we considered important at the time.

January

Beethoven emerged from the grave to tour with Ariana Grande

Holy shit did we continue going bonkers for “Uptown Funk” in 2015. (You will hear “JULIO, GET THE STRETCH!” at every wedding function until the day you die and probably three days after that.) The 2014 Bruno Mars and Mark Ronson anthem bumped Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” out of the Billboard Hot 100’s #1 spot in mid-January and enjoyed a 14 week reign at the summit that wrapped up with Wiz Khalifa’s Furious 7 tearjerker “See You Again” taking over the slot. Dragons across the globe could retire comfortably following this impressive run.

Also…

• New downloading regulations came with some scary music piracy penalties.
• Justin Bieber’s hog was artificially enhanced to see you on Calvin Klein underpants. (Pubes were also involved. Dignity. Always dignity.)
• Perpetually available entertainer Snoop Dogg unfurled some homophobic shit on Instagram
• A pastor revealed that Taylor Swift had been secretly making your kids gay.
• Toronto’s Silver Dollar Room scored heritage site status.
• 2 Chainz pretty much disembowelled Nancy Grace to everyone’s amusement.
• A$AP Yams died.
• There were sex goofs at a Dead Kennedy show.
• Extreme’s Waiting for the Punchline turned 20.
• The lead singer of Puddle Of Mudd continued his lengthy downward spiral.
• Jack White was immortalized on a baseball card.
• And Johnny Depp had STRONG OPINIONS™ about the “sickening” trend of actor-musicians. (Some say speaking out sabotaged Depp’s guaranteed Oscar for Mordecai.)

February

Stop us if you heard this one before… Kanye West said a thing and then everyone got either way too mad or way too sanctimonious about it. A scandalized public gasped until there was no more air left when Kanye West suggested that Beck “respect artistry” and give his Album of the Year Grammy to Beyoncé. Vases were dropped, monocles were shattered and your Facebook feed turned into a total shitshow for the next three weeks. (Kanye later apologized to Beck and no one actually involved in this statuette chatter seemed too busted up about it.) Speaking of the Grammys, the enormo recording industry shindig also featured Kristen Wiig dancing during Sia’s performance, Sam Smith winning a fuckload of shiny prizes, and Aphex Twin walked a way with a Grammy too.

Also…

• Very serious musical artist/author Tom DeLonge left Blink-182 and we had to hear about it for ages.
• A goofy shark upstaged Katy Perry and Missy Elliott at the Super Bowl XLIX halftime show and dissolved from our memories two weeks later.
• HMV noticed music sales were in the toilet, banked on non-music sales to survive.
• Drake may have sent adult entertainment megastar Mia Khalifa some thirsty-ass pics on Instagram.
• Ozzy Osbourne’s home was overrun by bats.
• Bayside pop-rockers Zack Attack reformed on The Tonight Show cuz The Tonight Show.
• Saturday Night Live celebrated 40 years of existence with a star-studded love letter to itself.
• The non-ego parts of Madonna survived potential death.
• Calgary alt paper Fast Forward Weekly (FFWD) waved a tearful goodbye.
• Toronto venue Massey Hall underwent renovations.
• Mammoth Cave Recording Co. packed it in.
• Oh, and the Kevin Gates dog blowjob unpleasantness. Remembering things fever: Catch it!

March

The Canadian recording industry’s annual “look at us!” party went down in Hamilton. Hedley irritant Jacob Hoggard served as host for this year’s Juno Awards and there was some substantial gushing on Twitter over Alanis Morissette’s performance. (She was honoured as a 2015 inductee into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame, don’t cha know?) The big story coming out of the event? Probably The Weeknd’s continued status as a big fucking deal. The Scarborough hitmaker earned Artist of the Year honours (EAT IT, BRYAN ADAMS) and turned in a quality performance of “Earned It” to boot.

Also…

• Shad was officially crowned the new host of Q.
• Hall & Oates weren’t having a granola company’s shit.
• The Chad VanGaalen directed video for Timber Timbre’s “Beat The Drum Slowly” scored the 2015 Prism Prize.
• Unknown singer-songwriter Taylor Swift stunned with multiple wins at the wildly unnecessary iHeartRadio Awards.
• Faith No More released their first single in forever.
• Drake got the Heritage Minute treatment.
• Alexisonfire declared they were back in action.
• Jack White paid six figures for Elvis Presley’s first recording.
• Robin Thicke and Pharrell had a bad day in court.
• Billy became William Corgan.
• Kendrick Lamar released the most critically acclaimed album of the year.
• Justin Bieber got roasted and made everyone uncomfortable with a weird apology.
• One Direction hit its post-Zayn era.
• Durst mirth occurred.
• Bandcamp generated $100 million for artists.
• There was a Slipknot family knife fight!
• Viet Cong issued a statement about their band name and then dicked around for the rest of 2015 without changing it. Fucking fix it already, guys.

April

Coachella offered up AC/DC, Jack White, and a painfully awkward Drake/Madonna encounter for those that trekked out to Indio, California. Steely Dan, The Weeknd, endless hologram jokes, and questionable Radiohead rumours were also on the bill.

Also…

• Cowardly radio stations were scared of Little Big Town’s “Girl Crush.”
• Blur released their first album in a dozen years.
• Dudes continued to hog valuable festival real estate.
• In-Flight Safety won Album of the Year at the East Coast Music Awards.
• A dog proved itself to good at drumming.
• The Dashboard Confessional dude proved his availability for birthday parties.
• The ashes of deceased GWAR frontman Dave “Oderus Urungus” Brockie caused some issues.
• Marilyn Manson got attacked at a Lethbridge Denny’s.
• Boston declared April 9th Riot Grrrl Day to the chagrin of MRA dipshits.
• Marcus Mumford threatened to do hip-hop adjacent things.
• Loren Anthony of Bloodline called out Adam Sandler’s racist shitshow.
• Britney Spears decimated a heckler.
• Jay Z and Beyoncé had a nice meal. (That last one is a guess.)

May

The Billboard Music Awards had a gimmick in play to trick us dummos into watching in May and that gimmick was The Mighty Taylor Swift. The big sell for this traditionally forgettable award show was that you’d get to see Taylor and her superpals (SO MANY TEASER POSTERS!) tear shit up in the star-studded “Bad Blood” video that premiered at the shindig. The results were sort of mixed (yay Kendrick! boo assorted boring things!), but it was one of those big dumb cultural event things where you try and sort out if Martha Hunt is the best Homeslice she can be.

Also…

• Justin Timberlake took up residency in our nightmares in the name of tequila.
• The planet lost another treasured rapping granny.
• Dave Mustaine (who is not a rapping granny) did not come cheap as a songwriting coach.
• Heart eating entered the world of battle rap options.
• Hilary Clinton got the valuable Ja Rule endorsement.
• American Idol decided to pack it in about a half-decade after their audience made the same decision.
• Måns Zelmerlöw delivered Sweden a new dose of Eurovision glory.
• The Polaris Music Prize beefed up their cash offering.
• B.B. King passed away.
• Action Bronson got bounced from a high profile NXNE gig.
• MuchMusic revamped the role of the VJ.
• Foo Fighters helped send their friend David Letterman into retirement.

June

GROSS GROSS GROSS

Also…

• Thirsty Calgarians launched a music festival with the backflip heard ’round the world.
• Iggy Azalea canceled the summer tour no one was really looking forward to.
• The Biebs was found guilty of assault.
• Snoop Dogg was gross to a CBC camerawoman.
• Wal-Mart embraced DJs.
• Neil Young took issue with Trump.
• Rolling Stone suffered major cuts.
• Smash Mouth lost a battle with bread.
• A Dutch punk dude won a battle with flying beer.
• The #ShortlistBA Polaris Prize campaign got underway.
• Kanye and Outkast hung out at a Waffle House.
• Nine Inch Nails had a surprise influence on Alberta politics.
• Soundcloud sorted out a licensing deal with indie labels.
• AUX was there for this year’s NXNE, OBEY Convention, Sled Island and Field Trip.
• AUX wasn’t there for Glastonbury, but the closed captioning raised our eyebrows at home.

July

Noted commotion generator/dillydallying pop star Rihanna had arguably the most talked about video of 2015 thanks to her cheerfully gruesome “Bitch Better Have My Money” clip. (Send your thoughts Mads Mikkelsen’s way.) Violence! Nudity! Drugs! Was “BBHMM” a brilliant feminist promo or gratuitous misogyny disguised as such? The avalanche of thinkpieces cascaded down immediately and they’re likely to keep rolling in as the year-end essays roll out. Our take: ANTI can’t come out soon enough.

Also…

• Quebec shutterbugs pushed back against Taylor Swift and the Foo Fighters.
• The Beastie Boys said they’ll never reunite without MCA.
• Finland defended your right to be spared from crappy concerts.
• “I Got Money” gent 50 Cent filed for bankruptcy.
• The taxman and Insane Clown Posse were not homies.
• Drake channeled Rob Ford plus like 80,000 other people for his “Energy” video.
• Drake channeled a guy that comfortably decimated Meek Mill.
• Nicki Minaj called out 2015’s slate of VMA nominations, got a condescending tweet from Taylor Swift.
• Albums started coming out on Fridays, impacting your ability to enjoy a 20/20 rerun.
• This dude recorded his album at the Apple Store.
• We hung out with an air drumming legend.
• Dave Grohl: Throne Enthusiast
• Kanye West’s Pan Am Games performance left some spectators at home confused.
• Shaggy FINALLY shared his plan to defeat ISIS
• Ghostface Killah did not care for Action Bronson.
• Pro-foreskin activists made Vancouver’s One Direction show extra strange.
• Denmark recycled your pee for booze reasons.
• Osheaga banned white dinks from wearing a headdress as a fashion accessory.
• WayHome happened. We have the pictures to prove it.
• Electric Eclectics happened. We have the fuzzy memories to prove it.
• Earl Sweatshirt wasn’t having your stage crashing nonsense.
• Mac DeMarco invited you over for coffee.

August

2015: The year N.W.A. were bigger than ever. The legendary West Coast rap outfit’s legacy not only survived the big screen biopic treatment, but thrived. Straight Outta Compton (produced by alums like Dr. Dre and Ice Cube) was a gargantuan smash at the box office, raking in over $200 million and notched some pretty glowing reviews in the process. (Opinions have definitely been varied on the historical accuracy of F. Gary Gray’s motion picture, mind you.) Adding to the movie’s status as a phenomenon was its ability to give N.W.A. their first ever Top 40 hit via “Straight Outta Compton” hitting #38 on the Billboard Hot 100. For bonus points, someone broke a warlock’s spell and now we have a new Dr. Dre album.

Also…

• The ’90s got divorced.
• OVO Fest was a success onstage, but a fatal afterparty shooting injected sadness into its afterglow.
• The VMAs were fairly interesting. Nicki Minaj put host Miley Cyrus on notice and Kanye West declared his Presidential aspirations.
• Kardinal Offishall and Kraft Dinner did a thing of light interest.
• There was a 1,000 member Italian Foo Fighter jam session!
• We were at SappyFest 2015.
• Bruce Springsteen helped send off the Jon Stewart era of The Daily Show.
• Marvel comics blew our minds with a hip-hop makeover.
• iTunes got a swift nut-kicking in the U.K.
• Nick Lachey made a play to become a pot oligarch in Ohio. (Spoiler: Voters stopped it.)
• Look! It’s Lenny Kravitz’s whammy bar!
• Overdoses tainted Calgary’s Chasing Summer Festival.
• An ugly cloud of sexual misconduct prompted talk of changes for Warped Tour.
• The planet was briefly enamoured with a Ned Flanders themed metal band.
• A ceiling collapse at Minneapolis’ historic First Avenue injures three at a Theory of a Deadman show.
• Saskatoon brought some sexy magic to the Kijiji sales game.
• The Weeknd faced accusations of music video theft.

September

Ageless Canadian hero Buffy Sainte-Marie won the 2015 Polaris Music Prize on September 21 thanks to her critically acclaimed album Power in the Blood. The Aboriginal singer-songwriter earned raves all year long for the record’s genre-melting sound and vision for intertwining and addressing subjects like Idle No More. Sainte-Marie beat out offerings from the likes of Drake, Jennifer Castle, and Tobias Jesso Jr. to score the honour.

Also…

• Drezus and City Natives both had impressive hauls at the 2015 Indigenous Music Awards.
• The Chavril era came to a close.
• We were (and still are) worried about the health of the unkillable Lemmy.
• Toronto’s Rancho Relaxo traded their famous sign for pizza.
• Ja Rule and Wikipedia didn’t see eye-to-eye over height.
• Taylor Swift’s “Sweetest Dreams” video was accused of some not-so-sweet whitewashing.
• Ice Cube said nice things about Iggy Azalea.
• Keith Richards said things of varying sauciness about assorted bands.
• Aldo Nova wore a nice pair of socks.
• Canadian musos ramped up the call to get Stephen Harper the fuck outta his PM perch.
• Miley Cyrus arrived in B.C. to protest a controversial provincial hunting policy.
• DMX’s son sold his dad’s platinum plaques while he was locked up.
• Joel Plaskett had some business ideas.
• Riot Fest was a thing we were at it. Were you?
• Jack White vs. The Black Keys (Part 132)
• Mark Kozelek vs. Everybody (Part 63)
• Chilly Gonzales suggested that Hozier ripped off Feist.
• We had a predictably unpredictable time at Pop Montreal and found some surprises at the Festival of Emerging Music.
• We wept for the Zune.
• Fetty Wap got hurt in a motorcycle wreck. Everyone wishes the dude well.

October

Have you heard about this “Adele” character everyone’s quite into? The public was so thirsty for this conjurer of multiplatinum to return that a weird groan of release was let out the globe over when “Hello” stepped into our lives. It’s lovely to have Adele back and the recording industry is pretty sweet on this charmer as well. “Hello” broke Taylor Swift’s “most views in 24 hours on Vevo” record, clocked in at over a million sales in its first week and the following month’s full-length 25 sold an astronomical 3.38 million copies in The States in just its debut week alone. She’ll be Britain’s next Queen by October 2016 if things keep going this way.

Also…

• Condé Nast rated Pitchfork as “Best New Media Acquisition.”
• Is Avril Lavigne an imposter? (No.)
• Lance Bass shared a story of entertainment industry predators.
• Oooh! Kmart soundtrack nostalgia porn!
• Paps took pics of Justin Bieber’s unobscured bathing suit area.
• Won’t someone thing of the grinding and twerking children?
• Jack White: Valuable Potluck Attendee
• Anti-Faygo horseshit killed an Insane Clown Posse show in San Diego.
• Beyoncé’s dad offered to make you a pop star of Kelly Rowland quality.
• Joni Mitchell, The Cowboy Junkies, Peaches, and Sloan scored Slaight Family Polaris Heritage Prize honours.
• Katy Perry’s P.O.D. past bubbled up again.
• Monster Truck became a girls minor hockey sponsor.
• Janet Jackson (in comeback mode in 2015) came under fire for her concert photography practices.
• Whirr’s transphobic tweets led to getting dropped by their label while G.L.O.S.S. released one of the greatest punk demos of the year.
• We couldn’t get enough of Drake’s “Hotline Bling” video… until we did.
• Kanye West auditioned for American Idol.
• Bo Bice refreshed his email.

November

The horrific terrorist attacks that rocked Paris and left 130 dead included a scene of cruelty and carnage at the Bataclan theatre. Gunmen entered the venue during an Eagles of Death Metal concert and took 89 lives including that of merchandise manager Nick Alexander. The band would later ask artists to cover their song “I Love You All The Time” with the proceeds going to charity. In December, Eagles of Death Metal would appear as guests of U2 for a performance at the rock outfit’s arena show.

Also…

• A pyrotechnics accident killed dozens and injured many more in Romania.
• Good Charlotte announced their return.
• The FBI revealed they’ve been investigating Wu-Tang Clan.
• Papa Roach needed your help, nerds.
• Fall Out Boy got tapped to play the Grey Cup halftime show, possibly improving the Blue Bombers rush defence.
• 11-year-old Inuit throat singers stole the show at Trudeau’s swearing in.
• Timbaland enjoyed the decadent rich person treat of McDonalds fries in a nightclub.
• Foo Fighters got a hero’s welcome when they played the home of that 1,000 musician viral video.
• Missy Elliott’s “WTF” video was both fantastic and kinda painful.
• We met the Grindmother.
• A three-year-old DJ won South Africa’s Got Talent.
• Gord Downie’s house seemed neat.
• Tanya Tagaq contemplated legal action against the doc of the North for its “painful and racist” content and its unauthorized use of her music.
• Jack White launched a vinyl pressing plant and record store in Detroit.

December

Music fans both domestic and abroad are still absorbing the very sad news that Nardwuar the Human Serviette suffered a stroke at the Mint Records holiday party. Known for his impeccable music knowledge, remarkable interviews, and delightfully eccentric and cheery personality, Nardwuar has established himself as a Canadian cultural institution in Canada. (His work with the Evaporators hasn’t been too shabby either.) He previously suffered a brain hemmhorage in 1999, so the hope is that he’ll rebound from this as well. That’s what we’re all rooting for.

Also…

• Scott Weiland passed away at age 48.
• Rush’s Neil Peart became a “retired” drummer.
• That drooled over $2 million Wu-Tang album was purchased by a supervillain.
• Kendrick Lamar, Taylor Swift, and The Weeknd got good Grammy nomination news.
• A “clerical error” ruined the chances of “Hotline Bling” seeing Grammy glory.
• Tim Gilbert changed the pop game in 2015.
• A fan rescued Public Enemy from a missed gig with his trusty Ford Focus.
• The world met Saint West.
• Billy Corgan had certain expectations about the water bottle consumption of his openers.
• 50 Cent cast himself to become your new sitcom hero.
• Coldplay were announced to play the Super Bowl, opening up the door for Starsailor to play the ArenaBowl.

See you in 2016!