8 artists who shouldn't be called one-hit wonders

by Dan MacRae

October 23, 2015

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We like to call them two-hit heroes.

Remember last week when we wrote a goo-goo eyed mash note to one-hit wonders? VERY EXCITING STUFF. Oh, were we ever so young? This time we’re looking at the one-hit wonder’s elusive cousin: The two-hit wonder.

Two-hit wonders are an odd beast because they lack the single signature tunery of a one-hit wonder, but the level of glory remains relatively the same with a bonus smash thrown in. Instead of Dido being simply the “Thank You” Lady, she’s also the “White Flag” Lady. (Or probably more the “NO! SLIM SAWA’S NO GOOD FOR YOU!” Lady if anything.)

Here’s a look at nine acts that pulled off the relatively elusive feat of reaching two-hit wonder status. Some are great, some are garbage, and all of them can rub their second hit right in Gotye‘s face and there’s nothing he can do about it.

Sky – “Some Kinda Wonderful”/”Love Song”

Shh! Everybody shut up! Sky are here! This Quebec pop duo were briefly hot shit in this country and that’s because they were armed with two agreeably corny hits: “Some Kinda Wonderful” and “Love Song.” The former is decadent soul-stirring cheeseball pop with lyrics where you can only make out like six of the words. “Love Song” followed up that momentum with some sparkling Lite FM style adult contemporary tenderness. Imagine the tender work conference sex that’s likely gone down to “Love Song!” Drunken late ’90s co-worker sex at the Medicine Hat Travelodge ahoy! Exits and line-up changes had a zombie version of Sky kicking around for a bit of the ’00s with Anastasia (no, not that one) and Karl Wolf (yes, that one) serving as the pair despite neither being an original member.

Spin Doctors – “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong”/”Two Princes”

The sentient bongwater-soaked hacky sacks known as Spin Doctors carved out their own legacy of the early ’90s culture thanks to a double dose of campus-friendly hits. Letting out a mighty “Di bi bi bip, di bi bi bi di, Bi di-di-le-di ba da ba da ba da ba, Da ba da ba da ba da ba!”, this surprisingly unkillable outfit kicked off their career by notching hits with the bratty fuck you “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” and the oppressively catchy “Two Princes.” There’s a strong possibility these songs exist solely for the purpose of reminding time travellers what year they’ve stumbled into. Seriously, these tracks are so early ’90s-y that they piss Crystal Clear Pepsi.

KT Tunstall – “Big Black Horse and the Cherry Tree”/”Suddenly I See”

KT Tunstall Fever: Temporarily catch it! The mid-aughts were a good time to be this Scottish singer-songwriter. Tunstall was tapped for big things and cranked out the blues-seasoned “Big Black Horse and the Cherry Tree” and the bubbly “Suddenly I See” for an engaged public to gobble up. The latter track would later be plunked into every third trailer for a romantic comedy and any film studio executive that defied this rule was quickly executed in a public square. It was a dark period in entertainment marketing history.

Vanilla Ice – “Ice Ice Baby”/”Play That Funky Music”

Vanilla Ice, a celebrity you can always count on to answer a reality show offer call on the first ring, is a two-hit wonder that gets unfairly pegged as a one-hit wonder. “Ice Ice Baby” gets all the shine, but Ice’s spectacularly crappy “Play That Funky Music” managed to score Top 5 status on the Billboard Hot 100. In case you’ve never heard it, “Play That Funky Music” is like one of those “fun raps” you see the wedding party do at a reception.

LMFAO – “Party Rock Anthem”/”Sexy and I Know It”

LMFAO said they were sorry for party rocking, but have they truly shown remorse? Follow-up question, are LMFAO on hiatus until the public accepts their apology? During their ’10s heyday, Uncle Redfoo and impressionable nephew SkyBlu farted out two big hits courtesy of the secretly awesome “Party Rock Anthem” and the not-so-secretly dogshit “Sexy and I Know It.” These dinks also unleashed the Party City friendly mascot Shuffle Bot on a public that does not deserve to be terrorized by such a creature.

Tone Lōc – “Wild Thing”/”Funky Cold Medina”

C Bear and Jamal star Tone-Lōc’s horny wheeling and dealings enthralled Americans during Bush #1’s ’80s-’90s White House stay with tales of vigorous intercourse and love potions that will have a dog fucking your leg. Both tunes were happy to slather on some familiar samples to amp up the “Now That’s What I Call Frosh!” thrills with “Wild Thing” doubling as a cautionary tale about realizing your possible sexmate is a prostitute. Um, provided “wild thing” means sex and not an intense game of 13 Dead End Drive.

Bran Van 3000 – “Drinking In L.A.”/”Astounded”

“Give us a ring-ding-ding! It’s a beautiful day.” At the risk of bumming out all the “Everywhere” superfans out there, “Drinking In L.A.” and “Astounded” rank as BV3000’s most beautiful and well-known children. Offering up blotto twentysomething laments and swirling nouveau disco respectively, Bran Van 3000 helped a nation live, love, and learn more about Todd’s favourite cheese in a tidy half-decade period. (It’s quite possibly a Roquefort, if you’re wondering about the cheese.)

Crystal Waters – “Gypsy Woman (She’s Homeless)”/”100% Pure Love”

Nothing says “LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!” quite like Crystal Waters sharing the tale of a homeless woman begging for money as our narrator asks God why. Woo! Pass the ice cream cake, drugs, and confetti ’cause it’s party time! The ’90s house luminary notched a pair of danceable hits with “Gypsy Woman (She’s Homeless)” and the less depressing but not as good “100% Pure Love.” How popular was Crystal Waters? Popular enough to get spoofed on In Living Color, but not popular enough for you to not confuse her with a rival of Perrier.

Tags: Music, Fun Shit, Lists, News, bran van 3000, KT Tunstall, LMFAO, Sky, Spin Doctors, two-hit wonders, Vanilla Ice

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