Music

Britney Spears' "Toxic" helps girl recover from aneurysm and stroke

by Jeremy Mersereau

It’s a widely known fact that “Toxic” is Britney’s best banger, but who knew those lively strings and uptempo percussion had bonafide healing powers? Here I was thinking it was just a coincidence my bunions disappeared after giving In The Zone a nostalgia spin last week.

In a Facebook post written last month, 13-year-old Maegan Johnson from Phenix City, Alabama detailed how she suffered a brain aneurysm when she was seven. Doctors told her parents “not to expect a good outcome.” After a subsequent operation, Maegan suffered a stroke that affected her left side, leaving her unable to speak. According to Meagan, therapeutic efforts like clowns and dogs had no effect (not surprising, every time I’ve been visited by clowns I’m unable to scream either). It wasn’t until she heard “Toxic” that her body responded and she was able to move, and the song was then incorporated into all future therapy sessions. Now, six years on, Maegan has made a full recovery, and she credits the song in helping her return to health.

Britney herself has since responded to the teen on Facebook, telling Meagan that she is “so inspired by you and I’m touched my music helped you get through such a difficult time. ‪#‎JustKeepDancing‬, sweetie!!”

Damn, we were so close. Just for once can we have an uplifting human interest story that doesn’t incorporate an irritating hashtag? Is that too much to ask?

In case the song’s producers, Swedish beatmakers Bloodshy and Avant, have fallen on hard times, I’m sure they could make a little extra money by licensing their productions to hospitals. I’m sure everyone would rather get well to Ms. Dynamite’s “It Takes More” rather than the hospital intercom. “Paging Dr. Bloodshy to surgery theatre 4” *hot beat starts to play as the bonesaw whirrs up*