Music

Pro-foreskin activists will demonstrate at One Direction's Vancouver show

by Dan MacRae

We’re going to type a series of words and would like to see if your brain can make sense of them. Sounds reasonable enough, right? Get ready to be challenged.

A foreskin pride rally is scheduled to take place later today in support of One Direction’s distinctively coiffed cutie Harry Styles. That tidbit of news again: A pro-foreskin group will be out demonstrating to give a hearty thumbs-up to one of the world’s biggest pop stars.

We’re not making this up. This is a real thing that’s happening somehow.

The Georgia Straight reports that members of the Canadian Foreskin Awareness Project will be holding a rally outside of BC Place Stadium before tonight’s One Direction show. (MORE LIKE ONE ERECTION, HURF DURF!) Why? A National Enquirer piece from a couple years back claimed that Harry and Taylor Swift split because she hated his uncircumcised penis.

Feel free to take a moment and dig through the lyrics for “Style” to see if there’s any dong modification talk snuck into the proceedings.

CAN-FAP (savvy acronym!) bills themselves as “Canada’s feistiest pro-foreskin advocacy group” and they say it’s important to stand up for the foreskin of the stars.

“The allegation that Taylor tried to tailor Styles’s penile style has not yet been confirmed by Styles or Swift,” said CAN-FAP founder Glen Callender. “But CAN-FAP is obliged to take all alleged threats to celebrity foreskin seriously.”

Callender champions the value of A-List foreskin and notes that “Justin Bieber, Will Smith, John Mayer, and Ricky Martin (are) all proud owners of very successful and sought-after foreskins.”

The organization is also planning to hold a demonstration when Taylor Swift comes to British Columbia next month. Tonight’s rally starts at 5PM local time.