Music

Coheed and Cambria totally trolled the judge that opposed same-sex marriage

by Jeremy Mersereau

Every so often, a massive upheaval in the entire social landscape occurs, leaving us all grateful we were alive at the time to witness it. I’m of course talking about neo-prog druids Coheed and Cambria’s new single, “You Got Spirit, Kid.”

To mark the occasion, Coheed and Cambria composed and performed an original song for Funny or Die with lyrics drawn from U.S. Supreme Court Justice/perpetually smug bullfrog Antonin Scalia’s dissenting opinions on same-sex marriage and the Affordable Care Act, which you can listen to here. It’s a good match: most of the time, Scalia’s sullen, overwrought opinions are indistinguishable from singer Claudio Sanchez’s usual sullen, overwrought lyrics. I’m sure Scalia is just seething in the federal courthouse in Washington. “The Coheed guys have gone too far this time! Get the bats, Clarence, we’re driving to New York to hurt some people.” Clarence Thomas: “Whose car we taking?”

Coheed and Cambria’s upcoming album, The Color Before the Sun, is out on October 9th. The band says it will be totally disconnected from their meticulously plotted out space opera storyline, The Amory Wars, which they’ve spent years crafting. Way to abandon the fans, guys! Will Coheed finally destroy Emperor Bleepblorp and bring peace to the megaverse, or whatever? Hopefully the C&C music factory gives us the answers one day.