Music
Murderous metal racist Varg Vikernes wants to help lonely men to find love
by Tyler Munro
March 13, 2015
Just because he stabbed someone to death doesn't mean you should ignore Varg Vikernes' romance tips.
Sure, Varg Vikernes is a hate-mongering criminal whose violent past and dangerous beliefs are downright reprehensible, but through it all — the arson, alleged terrorist plots and violent stabbings — he has remained a happily married man.
And maybe that’s why he decided to release an unsolicited video in which he tries to help men find “the key to good Women’s Hearts.”
As explained in Vikernes’ favourite Papyrus font, the video was made in response to “those who say it is hard to find a good and traditional woman these days,” and features such age-old idioms about how good women don’t just fall from the sky, and how the chase to find a partner is part of the “natural selection process.”
So how do you land the perfect lady? According to Varg, you have to live your life like a fairy tale.
Why aren’t you doing something that will make you renowned? That will give you glory? That will honour your name? That’s what you need to do. That’s what they did in the past, and that is still what you have to do today in order to find a good wife.
We can’t pinpoint how long he and wife, Marie Cachet, have been married, but after his 12 year prison sentence the Burzum frontman and Norwegian black metal innovator relocated to his wife’s home country of France, even reportedly changing his last name legally to hers. While we know him as Varg Vikernes, his legal name is apparently now Louis Cachet.
As for the kind of heroic things he did to help her fall in love with him, the laundry list is long, but includes: Church burnings, murder, casual racism, role playing games, cosplaying like a forest wizard, breaking out of prison, stockpiling weapons and so on and so forth.
Still, as odd as this video is, it’s oddly inspiring. Beneath the thinly veiled racist sentiments about racial purity and the odd, looping sombre piano that soundtracks the clip, Vikernes is ultimately saying something we know to be true: Be your best you, and good things will happen.
Just don’t, like, set anything on fire.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, there’s a follow-up video, though it’s less romantic and more about how race mixing is bad. We, uh… we probably won’t be dedicating an entire post to that one.
Tags: Music, News, Burzum, Varg Vikernes
